I wish my childhood molester had killed himself, instead I had to be repeatedly interviewed, then testify (so scared!!!) and live through the newspaper reports and neighborhood kids teasing me! It was he%# on top of he%#!!! He went to prison, don’t know how long but clearly remember my dad saying “not nearly long enough” and then next thing my parents, thankfully, moved me and my family 3,000 miles away! Where I still worried for years he would find me when he got out... It would have been so much easier for me, as a victim, if he had done the needful himself!
I am so sorry for your suffering and worry! I hope you are doing well these days.