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To: Fungi

A. It seems to be missing a few conjunctions here and there.
“departure seemed so certain (FOR) this week..

B. The heavy use of the same Second-Person pronoun “He” is confusing.
“HIS boss’s chief of staff told colleagues that HE had been..

C. The whole mess equals what my English teacher would have called a Run-On sentence. That happens when the writer tries to make the Topic sentence do too many things.

I recognize Run-On sentences because I often make that mistake myself. I forget to take a breath. Front loaded sentences remain out of balance.


35 posted on 09/25/2018 7:38:19 PM PDT by lee martell (AT)
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To: lee martell

Nice summary your Leeness. C. is the best point.


42 posted on 09/25/2018 7:46:05 PM PDT by Fungi
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