The reason that you can’t go without your Klonopin is because Klonopin is a Benzo and Benzos are extremely addictive.
I am prescribed Xanax (another Benzo) for severe anxiety, panic attacks and racing thoughts. It also helps with suicidal thoughts. Like you, I can not miss a dose or I will become ill and suffer extreme panic. That is normal when you become dependent on Benzos. It doesn’t take long to become physically addicted to them.
A few months after I started Xanax, I ran out early because my dosage was too low and I had to take more to make up for it. A few nights later, I was lying in bed hearing voices and experiencing severe hallucinations. It got so bad that I was ready to grab the gun in the next room and end it. Luckily, I remembered that a close relative took Xanax.
I called her and explained my predicament. She came with some Xanax and a few of her husband’s Klonopin. She saved my life. I got my doctor to up my dosage so that wouldn’t happen again.
The reason I told you that story was to emphasize that you NEVER go cold turkey from Benzos. Benzo withdrawal can cause seizures and, in extreme cases, death. That is why you feel so bad when you miss a dose of Klonopin.
Don’t get me wrong, Benzos can be wonderful. Especially in your case, for seizure prevention.
Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to let you know why you feel so bad when you miss your Klonopin dose.
Dont be sorry at all, it was very helpful.
I have to learn things the INCREDIBLY hard way and maybe a dozen times before it sinks in.
I would not feel like dropping off the script and then a day later would wonder why I felt like hell, making it HARDER to get to the pharmacy! Then day 2 I’m a Disaster and crawl there.
I learned my lesson and also the meds are sent through the computer to the pharmacy and I picked one that delivers :)
Better to admit i’m too lazy to get there on time than to die!!
BTW, I am very sorry you suffer from those maladies. I know this is cliche, but going to the ER is better than the alternative in an emergency.
After my brain injury, about a year later, I gave up and took 100 xanax. Didn’t kill me obviously but what a nightmarish bunch of days in the hospital!!! They weren’t sure that the conversations I was having with no one would end. They knew folks where it didn’t.
That was 9 years ago and I am VERY glad I didn’t succeed.