LOL! I hear you.
There was supposedly a push to do this after 9/11. Decentralizing the Federal Government. Nothing ever really happened.
I was working at Rock Island Arsenal at the time. Used to be over 10,000 employees working on an Island in the Mississippi River between Iowa and Illinois.
Naturally ‘protected’ and a half dozen beautiful historic homes, lots of room and a beautiful setting. Also a national cemetery.
VA? FBI? Agriculture? Perfect for any of them.