The reality is we beat Vietnam in military terms. Badly. If not for the leftists here, we'd have closed on the win.
They Vietnamese know it, too.
Frankly, at this point they wish they'd have "lost," but they did not understand their "sponsor" states (esp. China) were just using them.
They want to be the next "Japan" (i.e., the country we literally nuked into submission and then helped rebuild -- and who also has become one of our stoutest allies over there).
Have many friends who have visited Vietnam, and the Vietnamese are very kind to Americans.
For example, had a friend who fought in Vietnam (sadly, he's passed). You know who tortured him? Wasn't the Vietnamese. It was the French (this was before our formal involvement). His former battlefield opponents he met empathized with him.
Had another friend (who has also passed -- sigh) who actually met the Vietnamese person who ran the POW place he was stuck in before escaping. Years later they actually met when my friend visited. They became friends after some tense moments and a lot of apologies (not from my friend).
Related story: http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2013/1110/Why-US-veterans-are-returning-to-Vietnam
But again, fully understand your anger and position. Nothing can compensate for dead and crippled friends. Hence, NOT criticizing you comment. Just offering some other viewpoints.
Last thought: Excusing the forgivable is easy. Excusing the unforgivable is hard. There's a book written about someone who did that. In my world, he goes by the title "My Lord and Savior."
Sorry, not China. Rather the USSR.
I hear you and He is my Saviour as well. If some of those that lost more than I wish to forgive that is for them. I have too many friends who lost too much. Too many stories. A friend who brought home “China White” and a heroin addiction and a year later his wife was dead from an overdose and he had two children...a friend who went over 6’2inches and came home 5’8...too much. If we gave so much, and for what? So we could sell them airplanes 40 years later? I still say they need to be kept at arms l length until those of us who remember are gone. Out of respect for us.
Not anger. Just a deep sadness. Futility.