I’m not sure how to handle it from a societal perspective. Hopefully the backlash against political correctness that we are witnessing now will help greatly.
On an individual, personal level, here are two ways to handle it. Number 1, when a woman or man is emotionally overwrought, get them in a private office or conference room and let them rant until they are finished. Do not argue even if they don’t make sense. Note (even if you have to write them down) the rational points that are included in the rant and disregard the emotional gibberish. If she’s really upset, there is something wrong. It should be identified and rectified.
When they are finished ranting, calmly ask them about the rational points and find out what they think caused the problem. Be sure to ask if there is anything they had done previously that contributed to the issue. Then ask what they think they can do to avoid or correct it in the future. Sometimes, it turns out that what are really upset about is not the thing they think they’re upset about. Don’t get into the blame game, not them or the offending party, get them to think about and coach them in how to handle it in the future.
Help them determine if any corrective action is necessary for the most recent event or incident.
No. 2, if there is no time or place for a private conference, ask them to please write it all up privately. If it is in a work situation, offer them you private email address so that their most extreme comments are never on the company communication lines. Then follow up as in 1 above. Identify the real issues being addressed in between all of the upset, query them, ask the person to suggest ways that it might be handled better and offer some advice on constructive ways to address it.
The thing is that whenever someone’s emotions are overwhelming them, they are not fully rational. But they probably have a genuine grievance. Let the emotions blow down by allowing them to be expressed in a way that will not do damage. Then, they will be able to help sort out the issues rationally and productively.
As a woman, you know when your emotions are at an extreme level. If there is no one to guide you through them as described above, do it for yourself. Write down all of your rants until you don’t have anything more to write. Then go eat some ice cream or chocolate or something relaxing to you.
Later, when you are feeling calm go back and review it and do your own coaching. Read through it and look for the rational points and start to address them rationally. Sometimes it is much ado about nothing, other times, there is something that needs to be tended to.
This also works with children whose emotions are also very volatile.
Danger, danger, Dr. Smith. Do not ever go behind closed doors alone with an overwrought female employee as a male supervisor, or behind closed doors alone with an overwrought black or hispanic employee of either gender as a white supervisor. Get HR involved, you need a witness, for your own protection as well as theirs. Pitiful that this is the case, but it is and has been for going on twenty years.