Dearest john, you everlasting traitor: 13 days until you are less than nothing.
Dear John:
I realize this will hurt you. But that’s what makes it all the more fun. The American people have found someone new, and they’ll be glad to see the back of you, which might be the front part of a jackass. Don’t worry, though. I’m sure with your looks and personality, you’ll soon find other employment, probably in a Bistro in Paris dancing around while abusing a female dancer, for the amusement of tourists.
Sincerely,
Deplorable Dave