“Over the years, it has been my viewpoint that people should not be church leaders if they haven’t been married and had children.”
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Some of the kindest,most caring people that I know never had children.
Some of the nastiest had children.
It depends on the individual.
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Mears I’m not trying to dog on leaders here.
When it comes to family counseling or grief support, what words do you use to comfort or correct someone you can’t identify with?
I once had some problems with one of my children. The child was acting out at school. I took corrective measures any parent who wished to teach their child right from wrong would take.
The problem was that I was dealing with an adult who had read a lot of “Spock” and was convinced you never tell your children no.
In the interest of peace, I agreed to consult with a church deacon that had been referred to me.
I hadn’t been in the first meeting for more than two minutes when the guy looked me in the eye and asked, “Why do you think you have to control what your children do?”
What do you say to that? This guy didn’t have a clue. It was a waste of my and his time.
I set myself up for failure by agreeing to see the guy at all.
If I as a parent shouldn’t be involved correcting my children when they are acting out, who should?
How does a guy consult two people going through a rough time if he’s never been involved in a long term relationship?
What insights could this guy have if he’s never been a man in a long term relationship, hasn’t dealt with a woman’s actions in that type of relationship, has never had children, and has never lost a close relative?
I think a leader needs to have experienced life before he can relate to some of the biggest mysteries of life.
It has nothing to do with intent, or kindness, or sympathy. It has to do with knowing from first hand experience the intricacies of life, at least some of them.
If this wasn’t true, children would know as much as adults. There would be no need for adults.