[Hacksaw]

Sorry, but just how abysmally stupid do you have to be to go for a recreational hike in Afghanistan? If their IQs were any lower, they’d be amoebae, and there’s no question that they’re obama voters.

That's "victim shaming". When the female runners in my club were cautioned to not run alone at night after a spate of attacks, guess who they got mad at? The attackers? NOPE! The club coach giving the advice!

[Jack Hammer]

In keeping with that policy, I’m putting a salt shaker full of strychnine on my table and carrying rattlesnakes in my pockets from now on.

Let no one call me ‘moron.’