Jack Hammer has nothing to worry about - he got a Ph.D. in Bourbon and Women, even if it only took four years.
WOW. I thought that was a five year stay. At least it was for me. I even got the coveted 0.0 one semester. Next was 3.4 so I got the most improved average for the frat. Some of the guys were pis$$d as they had no hope of catching me.