Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Yelp Reviews: Metrocare Home Services
Yelp ^ | 9/15/2016

Posted on 09/15/2016 3:32:28 PM PDT by Gamecock

Heather G. Southlake, TX:
Go for the whole body liposuction. Stay for the dehydration and pneumonia therapy. Turns you into a completely new person!

Eden M.Los Angeles, CA:
Specializing in body doubles, political corruption and people skins for your alien troops infiltrating the human race.

Ellen S. Blue Ridge, GA:
Working a little medical magic thanks to Obamacare!! WOO HOO!

Shana L. Virginia Beach, VA:
Really comfortable setup. Almost like being home (complete with grandkid)! All the Gatorade you can chug while staff provides electroshock therapy and adrenalin infusions. I left feeling like a brand new person! Bonus: there is a secret staff entrance around back if patients code and need to be rushed to the ER down the road. Do yourself a favor. The next time you convulse in public and are dragged in a black van and privacy is important to you, give these guys a call. Free shoe retrieval service.

Secret S. Brooklyn, NY:
I was feeling kind of down. You know, like down on the ground, incapable of standing under my own power. Then I popped into Metrocare Home Services and wouldn't you know it, I emerged feeling like a totally different person (because I was literally a completely different person emerging from Metrocare with different earrings and my hair parted on the wrong side, 30 lbs lighter and no wrinkles). The folks at Metrocare Home Services are miracle workers. Pop in next time you want to shed 30 lbs, your wrinkles, your old earrings, I mean, wait, what do they do there again at Metrocare?

Hilary C.Manhattan, NY:
I had been having seizures, falling, fainting, and having coughing fits daily for a while and am basically dying. While, I was at an event recently for women and wall street where 911 happened, I passed out and basically went all weekend at bernies while my friends propped me up then threw me into a car. Metrocare injected me with adrenalin and childs blood and I improved to the point where I could smile and even say a few fatuous platitudes througout the day. After, metrocare was so nice they even let me hug the child that gave me the blood. Unfortunately she caught pneumonia from me but Its not a big deal because I only needed her for the blood and a quick photo op. But my ever gracious husband went so far as to get her a job at a place called Epstein Island, I think he said its some kind of theme park. Oops. getting a little woosy time to wrap this uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubgiuy†fu


TOPICS: Extended News; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 09/15/2016 3:32:28 PM PDT by Gamecock
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: xzins; P-Marlowe

Next time you are in Manhattan and have a seizure...


2 posted on 09/15/2016 3:33:19 PM PDT by Gamecock (Gun owner. Christian. Pro-American. Pro Law and Order. I am in the basket of deplorables.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

3 posted on 09/15/2016 3:35:24 PM PDT by Gamecock (Gun owner. Christian. Pro-American. Pro Law and Order. I am in the basket of deplorables.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

This is great! Many laughs and so encouraging to see that people have ‘Illary’s number.

Thnx for posting.


4 posted on 09/15/2016 3:38:18 PM PDT by Paine in the Neck ( Socialism consumes EVERYTHING!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

“Free shoe retrieval service.”


Lol for when the patient throws a shoe.


5 posted on 09/15/2016 3:39:55 PM PDT by freedomlover
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

For those who don’t know, this medical clinic is in the same building as Chelsea’s apartment. Same address.


6 posted on 09/15/2016 3:41:03 PM PDT by Semper911 (When you want to rob Peter to pay Paul, you'll always have the support of Paul.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Semper911

This is hilarious.

Semper911 - you are correct that Metrocare used the same address as Chelsea’s apartment, which was picked up on the internet about 24 hours after Hillary’s 911 appearance (debacle). She was taken in the black van to Chelsea Clinton’s $10 MILLION apartment, a building which only has four units (and a doorman).

Someone discovered that a hospital service called Metrocare was registered for the same building, in the same unit as Chelsea’s.

Metrocare’s doctor is a friend of Bill’s. Metrocare has “closed down” but we are not entirely sure.

Lots of conspiracy theories bouncing about after that.

Yelp is perfect for making fun of this, and will do more damage to the standard press denials than a simple reveal of this unusual “coincidence”.

If you want to see the reviews, go to Yelp at the link above and read them. Then maybe add something yourself, if you feel witty.

Thanks Semper911 !


7 posted on 09/15/2016 3:52:03 PM PDT by realr
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

Best Campaign Season Ever!!!


8 posted on 09/15/2016 4:03:05 PM PDT by Oratam
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

Fantastic!
I give the fake reviews 5 stars!


9 posted on 09/15/2016 4:31:08 PM PDT by GnuThere
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

I would really LIKE to get rid of 30 pounds and a few wrinkles!

((((Is treatment covered by Obamacare? Cuz’ I’m BROKE!))))


10 posted on 09/15/2016 4:55:25 PM PDT by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: GnuThere

The yelp site does not publish reviews from “unknown” reviewer’s. They do however show up in the non-recommended section of the webpage which you have to push the button at the bottom of the screen.

If you would like to leave a comment that is visible to most yelp viewers, you must have already reviewed a side or two either with your own name or perhaps an alias. I myself don’t have the courage to cross the Hillary machine.

Still I think leaving a review in the non-recommended section is a good wink wink and yelp might not even notice this for a few days. This is a very funny sideshow.


11 posted on 09/15/2016 6:25:45 PM PDT by realr
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson