Democrat senators call for new regulations on duct tape. Must be made permeable to air, cannot leave residue on flesh. New restrictions on use, cannot be used to bind suspects unless used by government personnel, registration for ownership required by civilians, and civilians may only buy bright orange colored duct tape. Permission must first be obtained by EPA, US Forest Service and Department of Agriculture before duct tape can be applied to trees. Remember, your government is here to assist you.
Mike Bloomberg can start a new group, moms demand action against duck tape.