My technical boss (chemical research) always, always, returned for rewrite my proposals to management if they exceeded a fifth grade level of prose.
That was the right approach. Most executives are pressed for time and only have a few seconds to scan what’s put in front of them. If its verbose and ponderous, they’ll stop reading after a couple of sentences. They also start wondering about the motives of people who couch their proposals in wordy expositions. Why won’t this person get to the point? What is the real reason they want this?
A clean and simple approach will be welcomed and it will increase the likelihood of future requests being considered.
“Do not use words such as ‘indubitably’, ‘subsequently’ or ‘pernicious’. It makes folks nervous, then they tune it out.”