Really really cool. But it went all blurry on me.
Posted on 04/28/2016 10:34:26 PM PDT by kathsua
Many fathers have penned heartwarming letters to their daughters on their wedding days, but few have reached eyes beyond their little girl’s.
Paul Daugherty made a rare exception when he shared his letter to his daughter Jillian on her wedding day with The Mighty, a news website dedicated to reporting about issues that affect people with disabilities, diseases and mental illnesses.
Jillian has Down syndrome. As her parents watched her grow, they heard people say that Jillian would never play sports or go to college or get married. On June 27, 2015, Paul’s little girl proved the doubters wrong when she married the love of her life, Ryan.
Paul wrote:
Dear Jillian,
It is the afternoon of your wedding. June 27, 2015. In two hours, you will take the walk of a lifetime, a stroll made more memorable by what you’ve achieved to get to this day. I don’t know what the odds are of a woman born with Down syndrome marrying the love of her life. I only know you’ve beaten them.
… When you were born and for years afterward, I didn’t worry for what you’d achieve academically. Your mom and I would make that happen. We’d wield the law like a cudgel if we had to. We could make teachers teach you, and we knew you’d earn the respect of your peers.
What we couldn’t do was make other kids like you. Accept you, befriend you, stand with you in the vital social arena. We thought, What’s a kid’s life, if it isn’t filled with sleepovers and birthday parties and dates to the prom?
I worried about you then. I cried deep inside on the night when you were 12 and you came downstairs to declare, “I don’t have any friends.’’
We all wish the same things for our children. Health, happiness and a keen ability to engage and enjoy the world are not only the province of typical kids. Their pursuit is every child’s birthright. I worried about your pursuit, Jillian.
I shouldn’t have. You’re a natural when it comes to socializing. They called you The Mayor in elementary school, for your ability to engage everyone. You danced on the junior varsity dance team in high school. You spent four years attending college classes and made lifelong impressions on everyone you met.
Do you remember all the stuff they said you’d never do, Jills? You wouldn’t ride a two-wheeler or play sports. You wouldn’t go to college. You certainly wouldn’t get married. Now… look at you.
… A decade ago, when a young man walked to our door wearing a suit and bearing a corsage made of cymbidium orchids said, “I’m here to take your daughter to the Homecoming, sir,’’ every fear I ever had about your life being incomplete vanished.
Now, you and Ryan are taking a different walk together. It’s a new challenge, but it’s no more daunting for you than anyone else. Given who you are, it might be less so. Happiness comes easily to you. As does your ability to make happiness for others.
I see you now. The prep work has been done, the door swings open. My little girl, all in white, crossing the threshold of yet another conquered dream. I stand breathless and transfixed, utterly in the moment. “You look beautiful’’ is the best I can do.
Jillian thanks me. “I’ll always be your little girl’’ is what she says then.
“Yes, you will,’’ I manage. Time to go, I say. We have a walk to make.
The Today Show recently shared Paul’s touching letter to Jillian on its Facebook page, drawing attention from tens of thousands of people.
Paul Daugherty, who frequently writes about Down syndrome, does not mention abortion, but his writing shines light on the value of people with disabilities at a time when parents often face pressure to to kill disabled babies before they are born. The fear and uncertainty that comes with the news of an unborn baby’s disability, along with a lack of information, often lead parents to choose abortion.
The Daughertys’ story already is helping to allay some parents’ fears. As Jillian’s life demonstrates, people with Down syndrome and other disabilities have more opportunities and better chances of living long, fulfilling lives than ever before. Raising a child with a disability is challenging, and there still is a dearth of support for people with special needs. But Paul and Jillian’s story proves that there is hope for a better future – one that will value every human being and treat them with the dignity and respect that they deserve.
You mean like Adolf Hitler and his buddy Margaret Sanger?
I’m not sure ‘bigot’ is a strong enough word, but I agree 101% with the sentiment you express.
In 1973 or so, I took care of a 57 year old woman who had downs. She was in a nursing home as her parents had died, there was nobody to take care of her. She was severely retarded, couldn’t see well, couldn’t speak and she absolutely loved her Mrs. Beasley doll; she wouldn’t go to bed without it.
We played with her beach ball in the hallway outside her room daily, she loved that. And every night when I tucked her into bed, she gave me a huge, tight hug.
It was almost unheard of in those days for a person with downs to live much beyond 30 as they frequently died of pneumonia and heart problems. But this lady was well cared for by her parents when they were alive. They kept her home and didn’t institutionalize her as most people tended to do during the era she was born.
I’ve cared for thousands of people in one capacity or another over the years, but this lady always stands out as one to remember. She won my heart as well as the hearts of others who also had the honor to know her, and privilege to care for her.
She enriched my life, and left me all these years later with a smile in my heart at her memory.
A very nice OP, thankyou for it. Especially with all the chaos going on in today’s news.
(Thanks for posting it.)
Just beautiful. A family full of courage, perseverance, hope, faith, and love.
Beautiful, thank you for sharing this and God bless you for caring for and about her.
Really really cool. But it went all blurry on me.
Awesome story. God bless the family. And while I’m at it, God bless America.
Yes! An object lesson for all of us!
Bless you. For 15 years I did a monthly “square dance” program for an ARC chapter in suburban Maryland. Most were Down’s Syndrome and the abilities ran a range from severely limited to reasonably abled.
I feel I can speak to this subject because we had a
Down Syndrome baby well over 40 yrs. ago. We brought him
home & cared for him just as we had our first baby. He
passed away after major surgery attempting to correct an
intestinal blockage that had also been present at birth.
- Who’s the judge of “perfect”? In this life, you’re just
about as “happy” as you make up your mind to be in spite of
ever-changing circumstances.
If Democrats had control of this man’s life his daughter would have been aborted.
ping
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