NFL CHANGES RULES FOR SAFETY

spectator.org ^ | April 1, 2016 | Happy Jack Feder

[PROCON]

In a pro-active and ground-shaking response to the ever-growing trend of criticism of safety concerns in the National Football League, Commissioner Roger Goodell today issued a press release detailing sweeping reforms to the game.

The press release is presented here in its entirety.

“The National Football League Commission and team owners regard the physical short term and long term health of its 1,800 active players as paramount. We began radically improving safety in the early 1970s with major advancements to the helmet, and steadily continued on that path by instituting new and better rules, especially in the area of tackling. Injuries continue to fall as a result of our ongoing efforts.

“However, the NFL recognizes it must do more. We have listened not only to our own hearts, but also to the increasingly frequent unbiased criticisms and suggestions from sports commentators, OSHA, Congressional oversight committees, the players lobby, lawyers representing injured players, doctors and especially women’s and other social justice warrior organizations (the lattermost being concerned with possible romanticizing of brutal physical aggression).

“As a result of many hours of discussion, the owners have unanimously agreed to begin making dramatic changes in the game. The changes will begin in the 2017 regular season. They will be fully instituted over the following six years. All changes are for the safety of our players, but of course many of these changes offer incident benefits that resonate with the reigning right-thinking political culture of today.

[PROCON]

We have listened not only to our own hearts, but also to the increasingly frequent unbiased criticisms and suggestions from sports commentators, OSHA, Congressional oversight committees, the players lobby, lawyers representing injured players, doctors and especially women’s and other social justice warrior organizations (the lattermost being concerned with possible romanticizing of brutal physical aggression).

Heh, nice April Fools piece....or is it?

[PROCON]

Pingy

[Michael.SF.]

Shouldn't the rules be changed for all the players? Why special rule changes for the safety only?

;)

[Resolute Conservative]

The NFL will only change is there is $$$ in it.

That said, you want to make the game better, do away with big pads and reduce helmets to the old leather and guys will stop pleading with their heads. I find it quite hypocritical that a defensive player is penalized for lowering his head but every running back that hits a gap lowers his head prior to the impact.

[Fido969]

Just see Roger Goodell make me feel deflated...

[1Old Pro]

April Fools

[NRx]

Had me through the first three paragraphs...

Good April Fools post.

[TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig]

This is definitely an April Fool’s joke, and not even a believable or original one.

[No_More_Harkin]

We begin with player age caps and average ages. Knowing that the likelihood of injury increases with the age of the player, no player over the age of 28 will be eligible to play.

heh... umm good one

Am I the only one who despises practical jokes?

[PROCON]

Lame Michael, real lame :-)

[WENDLE]

Have them sign a disclaimer and hold harmless and play the damned game. THEY ASSUME THE RISK OR GET OUT! The whole country is going wussy. I’m sick of it. I am not going pay $400 for a ticket to a football game and watch players in dresses playing flag football . This makes me sick.

[gunsequalfreedom]

The days of a Ronnie Lott (SF 49rs) seem over. He ranks as one of the top ten most feared tacklers.

[PROCON]

If real social justice is to happen, the NFL must incorporate at least 51% women and 2-3% transgenders to it’s teams.

[Gil4]

Shouldn't the rules be changed for all the players? Why special rule changes for the safety only?

After all the years of changing just for the QB, the safeties all agree it's about time.

[WENDLE]

This is April fools!!!! It got me!!

[Dr. Sivana]

NFL CHANGES RULES FOR SAFETY

I saw the headline, and was really concerened. What, are they going to make a safety worth 3 points? Dump the rule that a safety occurs when there is offensive holding in the endzone? What more could the NFL monkey with.

After all that the article was not about the only safety the NFL has any business thinking about, and wasn't true anyway.

I may have to shut this off until tomorrow.

[Iron Munro]

2026

NFL Commissioner Michelle Obama Announces New NFL Safety Equipment Standards,

Promises increased player safety and small impact on game pace, strategy and scoring.

[Servant of the Cross]

We have listened ... especially to women’s and other social justice warrior organizations (the lattermost being concerned with possible romanticizing of brutal physical aggression) ... and we present to you ... the NEW NFL:

[spel_grammer_an_punct_polise]

Satirical April Fool’s joke. I caught it in the third paragraph. ;-)

[dfwgator]

I’m really starting to hate April 1st.