I lost my kids via a poor choice of an attorney on my part. The ex hired a divorce pitbull.
Every other weekend and two weeks vacation was the decree.
It was devastating for a few months. The only choice I had was to suck up to the ex and offer to take the kids to school so they wouldn’t have to ride the bus which turned into my also picking them up from school. It was tough juggling the work schedule but through it I was able to see the kids every day.
Gradually she allowed me to host them for dinner once a week, which turned into over-nights. Once she started dating again I was offered the kids more frequently which eventually turned into twice a weekday over-nights which made for 3 day weekends.
This routine went on for a full year. I waited until the right time and filed for a new visitation ruling. Due to some bad behavior on her part, she didn’t want to have to talk to a judge and granted me half time with the kids.
As the years rolled on I spent every bit of free time possible with both sons and was only a phone call away for any problems they were having with their mother (there were plenty, quite the hell more often than not).
It’s been 20 years since it all started. Both kids are grown. I moved away from the hometown and they followed me. We see each other more now than back home.
Their mother is now the one in the doghouse by their choice and they handle that relationship on their own terms, not hers.
I have a friend who married the daughter of an uber rich family. They got divorced when the kids were little and she took them (he lost) and moved back to Miami, 800 miles away. He had had a business and chose not to leave it and only saw the kids on holidays and two weeks in the summer.
He made every one of those trips count. The family was filthy rich and the kids were raised as Sidney Sweetbush and Polly Princess—except for when he showed up.
He’d take them hunting and return the kids to the mansion dressed in cammo. And he’d take them fishing, hiking, snorkeling, camping, target practice etc—anything and everything that was the opposite of they way they were being raised.
Those kids are grown now and they have a close relationship with their father by their own choice.
Show the kids love and let know you understand they are in a difficult position, keep in contact with them and the payoff will be favorable down the road.
Thank you for your kind words of support, but that did not work out in My case. I am happy that you managed to find a way to see your children as much as you could.
My case, the -ex accused Me of everything and anything, and of course The Courts were extremely worried and did not wish to place any children in any chance of danger. Add to the fact that the Family Court Services “Councilor” was a far-leftist, anti-gun, pro-LGBT proponent who disliked strong male individuals and their beliefs, and needless to say I did not come out on the ‘balanced’ end of the scales when all was said and done.
Then, a few years after the mother realized that there was going to be more visitation allowd in the coming years since the small amount of visitation I had managed to achieve had worked out so well, she somehow decided that she should take drastic action to terminate the work required of her to provide for visitation. She swore out an accusation that in the past I had done some unspeakable things that made it imperative that I never be allowed near My offspring again.
Then she swore the same thing to My offspring. I will leave you to guess what the accusation was, but suffice to say that the police were unwilling to help Me clear My name, her family threatened to take extreme action at the earliest possible opportunity, and not only was I not able to see My offspring any more but every official I contacted stated that there was no interest other than My own concerning continuing contact, in any way shape or form.
My own offspring will not listen when I am attempting to tell the truth, and two decades later I still do not know if I will ever see that situation change.
I try not to get depressed, but realistically there is nothing I can do. I can not force anyone to see Me, and no one is willing to give Me the benefit of a doubt. Innocent until proven guilty is not an accepted position in certain families, it would appear, and so My brainwashed offspring believe it is better that I never again be spoken to.
This vid expresses what I had always hoped: that someone might recognize that it is not their father’s fault that they are not in their lives.
God knows I have tried so many times and for over two decades just to change this situation that I find Myself in.
I hope that soon others may wake up to the fact that simply because one is a man, does not immediately make him a danger to his family or the children around him.
I can only pray...