[mkjessup]

My mother told me a story from her childhood about a little girl in their town that was losing weight while her abdomen was growing larger, the local doctor diagnosed the problem as a tapeworm, and instructed the parents to give the child nothing but water for three days, after which the doctor came back to the house, took the little girl outside and tied her to a tree firmly, and then waved a saucer of milk in front of the girl’s mouth, the tapeworm (by then ravenous for food) literally came leaping up from the stomach, through the throat and out of the child’s mouth, wild lashing, gaping maw and all, they grabbed the tapeworm and pulled it out by hand, the total length being something close to 5 to 6 feet.

Ever since I heard that story I’ve made sure all of my sausages, bacon or pork products were *thoroughly* well done.

[dayglored]

> ...the tapeworm (by then ravenous for food) literally came leaping up from the stomach, through the throat and out of the child’s mouth, wild lashing, gaping maw and all, they grabbed the tapeworm and pulled it out by hand, the total length being something close to 5 to 6 feet...

Thank you SO much for the visual that description engendered. My nightmares had been getting boring of late. Not so now.

[Moonman62]

I had a dog that ate about a 100 feet of kite string that I didn’t know about, all I saw was a few inches hanging out her rear. I covered my hand with a towel and grabbed it, then she took off running.

[Grams A]

GOOD GRIEF!

They should be thankful they didn’t have Obamacare back then. It’s amazing how many illnesses the old doc was able to take care of using nothing but the contents of his old black bag, home remedies and a lot of smarts - no expensive drugs, lab tests, X-rays or MRI’s.

We always had a lot of pork since we raised hogs but my mom cooked it until it was done and then cooked it some more.

[alexander_busek]

[...] and then waved a saucer of milk in front of the girl's mouth, the tapeworm (by then ravenous for food) literally came leaping up from the stomach, through the throat and out of the child's mouth, wild lashing [...]

You do realize that that couldn't be true, don't you?

Regards,

Hint: A tapeworm wouldn't be able to sense the presence of a bowl of milk outside the girl's body.

[fr_freak]

That's nothing. I knew a guy, Phil, who went to the doctor's office and the doctor told him he had a large tapeworm. Phil thought he would just get a pill or something to cure it, but the doctor instead gave him some strange instructions. The doctor told him that the tapeworm was too large for the pill to be effective, so he had to use another method. He told Phil that, every day at 3:00pm for a week, Phil would have to put an oreo cookie up his rear end, and then, on the eighth day, return to the doctor's office at 2:45pm. Well, of course Phil was freaking out but the doctor told him it was the only way.

So Phil did what he was told for a week, putting the oreo cookies up you-know-where (he said it was fairly uncomfortable, if you're curious), and went back to the doctor's office at 2:45pm, just like he was told, even though he didn't have the slightest idea what for. The doctor had Phil drop his trousers and lean over the exam table. Phil said that, as he was standing there with his butt in the wind, he looked behind him and saw the doctor pick up an old aluminum baseball bat. Phil almost flipped out, and started to ask what the heck was going on, but the doctor just shushed him.

Phil stood there, leaning forward over the exam table with his butt out for the world to see, not knowing if the doctor had gone crazy or not and planned to bash his head in with the bat. Ten minutes goes by, then another ten, with nobody moving. Then suddenly, Phil felt something weird in his gut, and, then, good God, a giant tapeworm head popped out of his keyster, looked around, and squealed, "Hey, where's my f**king cookie????"

And that's when the doctor bashed the thing's brains out with the baseball bat.

[gnarledmaw]

OK, let us pretend that the saucer of milk worked. You do realize that a tapeworm cant be pulled out by hand? They are designed to break into segments.