Uzbeks Reportedly Forced to Glue Cotton Back Onto Bushes to Please Prime Minister

VICE News ^ | October 16, 2015 | 9:50 am | Liz Fields

[WhiskeyX]

Amid a sustained human rights campaign to end the mass forced labor surrounding Uzbekistan's annual cotton harvest, farmers in the eastern province of Ferghana are saying that they were enlisted to reattach picked cotton onto the bolls of bushes to feign a picturesque snowy-white landscape ahead of an anticipated visit by the country's prime minister, Shavkat Mirzayev.

The governor of Ferghana is said to have called for hundreds of men and women to undo the back-breaking work of picking cotton — the nation's main export — and glue the fiber back onto plants that would be seen along Mirzayev's expected route, according to a local resident who informed Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty's Uzbek Service.

[Daffynition]

[Covenantor]

Sounds like an SCTV script when John Candy was doing the Uzbek acts....”Hey Giorgy...”

[Daffynition]

[Tucker39]

Those commies are really crazy, gluing cotton back on the stalks. But not as crazy as we’ll be when Obama decides to order chicken farmers to “un-lay” the eggs in their chicken houses. And getting the right egg back to the right hen won’t be easy, either./Sarc

[Tupelo]

Funny thing, I read that headline and immediately thought the Obamas were heading there for some reason or other.

[Daffynition]

I hear music! Why, it's a band!

[Flick Lives]

To add insult to injury, Mirzayev didn't even come by.

Now wait cotton un-picking minute!

[Covenantor]

The annual Uzbek Cotton Boll

[MayflowerMadam]

I like those hats!

[P.O.E.]

"Who's been painting my roses red?"

So it is with mad totalitarians (/redundancy)

[snoringbear]

“Funny thing, I read that headline and immediately thought the Obamas were heading there for some reason or other.”

What you talking about? Obama’s don’t pick no stinking cotton.....

[Daffynition]

Goodness...I just remembered all those *art* projects, the boys used to bring home made with cotton ball accents.

Give a kid some cotton balls and Elmer's and they'll be quiet for hours!

[moovova]

That’s funny! Good one.

[FirstFlaBn]

Why didn’t they just borrow Josh Earnest to “announce” a bountiful cotton harvest?

[bgill]

It would have been easier to spray paint the picked plants white.

[Graybeard58]

Those commies are really crazy, gluing cotton back on the stalks.

******************************************************************

According to the headline writer, cotton grows on bushes, not stalks.

Of course, you’re right.

[Tucker39]

Yes, it is more of a bush than a stalk. You’re right.

There were scenes like that described in the old paperback, “Mig Pilot, The Final Escape of Lt. Belenko”. Politburo bigwigs would be announced as coming to visit Belenko’s airbase, so everyone, including pilots, medics, everybody would be scrambled to plant trees along the road in to the base because this bureaucrat liked trees. Then the bureaucrat’s visit would be postponed, and the trees would die and turn brown. Later, as visitation day approached again, all hands would be scrambled to paint the trees green. And sometime later, whenthe visit was cancelled outright; all the panic and spent rubles would be proven in vain.

It’s a great book.

[tang-soo]

Reminds me of this story

Four billion gallons of water were flushed down the Connecticut River last week so that Vice President Al Gore's canoe would not hit bottom during a photo opportunity.

The National Republican Committee has been burning up my fax machine ever since, howling about it.Some of their barbs aren't bad, though, and are funny enough to pass on to readers. And Gore -- who ballyhoos his environmental stands but wasted a river-full of water -- probably deserves them.

Read the whole article here.

[JoeFromSidney]

"Who's been painting my roses red?"

My reaction too. You beat me to it.