[Lazamataz]

SAVING the planet is now a matter of a few clicks—at least on a small scale. On September 22nd the UN’s Climate Change Secretariat launched Climate Neutral Now, a website that estimates an individual’s carbon footprint based on whereabouts, recycling habits, energy use and so on. Offsetting any resulting guilt is easy: the site takes donations to fund clean development projects. Your correspondent paid $24 to a facility capturing methane from pig dung to cover the carbon-dioxide emissions she had caused during the past year.

SHOCK CLAIM: World is on brink of 50 year ICE AGE and BRITAIN will bear the brunt

DON'T YOU WORRY! There's plenty of time for you to do penitence! First, send in all your retirement fund, except if you are white or heterosexual, then send in twice the amount in your retirement fund. Declare that you are an avowed Communist, and pledge your support for an Obama third and fourth and fifth term. Call anyone who criticizes you a racist and a homophobe, and if they think to own guns, meet them with quick mob violence (to prove to them that they were paranoid to worry about angry mobs).

If anyone asks you how Manmade Global Warming caused an ice age, simply take them through this thought experiment: "Take an ice cube tray. Fill it with water. Put it in the oven and set the temperature to 350. In one hour, you will have ice cubes! That is how Global Warming caused the Ice Age!"

[smartyaz]