I am reminded of a husband and wife I read about years ago.
He was having an affair. She knew and simply refused to acknowledge it. She still cared a lot about him and hoped it would end. Some people in the community knew. Most didn’t.
The wife was more or less protected by the idea she didn’t know. Those that knew pretty much accepted that she didn’t.
Then one really helpful village idiot found out about the affair. She decided the wife had to be informed at once. She blurted it out in public. The wife was instantly on the record as knowing. And then there was no choice.
The family had to split up. Young kid’s lives were marred forever.
You know folks, we don’t always know everything. What other people do is their business.
I don’t approve of situations like this, but then it’s not my business to make sure it’s fixed and culprits outed.
I don’t know the dynamics of the families involved. I don’t know the whys or what else is going on.
Yes, the offending mate is doing something we might think is despicable on first blush, but does that have to be the case?
What if the wife has a problem that prevents her fulfilling her martial sexual obligations? What if she and her husband work out an arrangement where he can obtain satisfaction elsewhere?
Is that any of our business?
Would outing the guy be in that wife’s best interest?
What’s going on in most of these cases is not this at all, but it is not any of our business.
I’ve got plenty of work to do on myself. I don’t generally have enough time to devote on perfecting the people doing something like this.
Truth ... is truth.
Your post would make sense in a world completely devoid of communicable diseases and pregnancies.
When you find that kind of world repeat your post and the people in it won’t have to correct you.
Years ago one of my brothers became involved with a woman. She was married but didn’t tell him. All the while he thought he was in control of the relationship she was leading him around by the...libido.
Fortunately (for most concerned at any rate) someone sought him out and privately brought him up to speed. He had it bad for her but broke off the affair. But she wasn’t ready to end it. She chased him to the point where he was considering a NCO.
It became more and more awkward as people became aware of the liaison (at one point after he broke off the relationship with her she started bringing the husband around the bar we frequented). Several criticized him even though he was as much a victim as the husband was. I don’t know how the husband finally found out but they abruptly stopped coming around to the bar we all frequented and then they were divorced.
It was a messed up deal (I almost said affair) for all concerned - one in which everyone lost something and the husband lost everything.
>>What if the wife has a problem that prevents her fulfilling her martial sexual obligations? What if she and her husband work out an arrangement where he can obtain satisfaction elsewhere?
Is that any of our business?<<
They don’t call them “vows” for nothing.
It isn’t my specific business but cheating is cheating. If someone is on A/M with the spouse’s implicit or explicit permission then there is no harm done (by your reasoning).
I don’t personally care but if someone is busted for cheating then boo freaking hoo. It is like an episode of “Cheaters.”
Justify it all you want but don’t ask for my sympathy.
I’m suddenly put in mind of John Cheever’s “The Swimmer”.