[Paine in the Neck]

Uhmmmmmmmmm, schools use #10 cans in it’s food supply chains. How is a kid going to throw a ten pound can of green beans at a would be gunman?

A letter went home to parents encouraging them to have the children bring in throwable-sized cans. Seriously.

[blackdog]

“Now children, this year’s food drive for the needy also includes our perimeter defenses, so make sure you bring in lot’s of canned goods. No beets or tomato sauce though, that might confuse the EMT’s in the event of macro-aggression. Bags of bread stuffing and cake mixes are good though for soaking up body fluids.”