No, Egg Freezing Won’t Let Women Have It All

We are meant to be parents with young children not grandparents to our own children. Grandparents have necessary attributes of calm and patience and wisdom and laughs and spoiling nuture but they can’t usually also provide the rough and tumble and activity that children need from their own parents.

Selfish and stupid is what this egg freezing is all about. What a shame.

I must have really messed up by having my last at almost 39. Good thing my oldest children are around to chase their youngest siblings around. My grandson, on the other hand, is so blessed to have an uncle who is three years older than he is. I suppose if God meant for me to stop earlier, then we wouldn’t have any after I was, oh, around 35. What is that magical cutoff age for when you are meant to stop having children?

I had my kids at 38, 39 & 44. We were exceptionally lucky that I got pregnant 3 weeks after we got married, no fertility help except charting-very, very atypical for older parents.

I would have been delighted to marry at 24, & start having babies at 25. Alas, it’s hard to find a guy who will date a shy nerdy type, who wants to wait for marriage-so I didn’t marry until 37. Unfortunately, we are limited by our ages as to how many kids we will rationally be able to have.

I tell every young woman I meet & will tell my girls when they are older to marry the right guy when you find the right guy, even if you end up marrying ‘young’. Same goes for babies: start within a year of marriage if at all possible.

It’s always hard to be a parent, but being an older one is hard, especially on the grandparents. My parents & in-laws mention often how they wish they could be around to see the people their grandkids will grow up to be. It’s really heartbreaking.

Encouraging women to wait until after 30 for marriage & kids seems like a nice thing to do on the surface, but is horribly unrealistic, fights biology, and sets them up for heartbreak.

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