I suspect these so-called jihadi groups are nothing more than a bunch of ragheads who are out hustling goats and drinking camel piss one night when they say “Hey! Let’s find some flimsy justification for murdering people, eh?” Then they invent some typically overblown name for themselves — Warriors of the Ancient Sword of the Right Hand of God’s Barber — behead a few innocent schoolgirls, and go drown in their own puke.
All it takes is some monkey gibberish like “Aqua velvah al-Tidi Bol k’mart Milwaki” and a couple of dull steak knives from Costco and you’re in business.