As with just about anything (i.e. riding a bike, driving a car), you need to get your "training wheels" and "driving experience" before becoming a competent and responsible bicyclist or motorist.
Having a hard rule of "21" does nothing to prepare one for drinking responsibly. You could argue that it is the parents responsibility to train their children on responsible drinking in the home but they would be breaking the law. In fact, parents have gone to jail because they allowed under age drinking in their own homes.
So now we have this situation where turning 21 is a rite of passage where the individual goes off with a group of his friends to "tie one on." That is no way to be introduced to drinking.
My kids drank at home under my supervision at every celebratory event from the age of 12 or so. They had wine/water mix at the table at celebratory events from the time they could hold a wine glass. If the teens wanted to try a specific beer or spirit I would purchase it and we would sample.
It demystified alcohol and helped them integrate ETOH use into their lives.
I remember my son telling me that he sort of laughed up his sleeve at his friends who would get a bottle of ETHOH and drink it and treat it like contraband. He said: I know that I can come home and ask for a drink if I wanted it and I would get it. I am so much freer than they are.
I TOTALLY agree with you! If parents were PERMITTED to do so, they would be able to teach responsible alcohol consumption at home (or at a restaurant). We allow parents to teach their children to drive cars, don’t we? We allow them to teach them to shoot, don’t we?
But what does the law say about teaching them to drink responsibly, and not like a barbarian? It says we cannot, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. In fact, as you point out, parents can and have gone to jail for doing so.
And so, when they graduate from high school, and go off to college, these young adults have either NO experience with alcohol, OR, they have been “taught” by their equally ignorant and immature peers. Bad idea.
Anyway, you’ve hit the nail on the head, IMO.
Regards,