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Okay. There's this guy, see?, and he works into every sentence he utters that he served in Vietnam and it turns out that he recommended himself for several Purple Hearts even though the injuries were not suffered in actual combat but as the result of reckless activities on his part including putting hand grenades into barrels of rice but he can't get away from the barrel before the grenade goes off and he ends up with hundreds of rice kernels or whatever they are called embedded in his azz.

Anyway, fast forward a few years and now the guy is testifying before a Senate committee on the egregious actions of his fellow soldiers in Vietnam and then he goes on to become Secretary of State and.....

On second thought, never mind. Nobody would ever believe such a ludicrous story line.