Good clean cheesy joke;
A California forest ranger caught a man poaching in the forests of Northern California, and hauled him in, along with his illegal catch was a beautiful California condor. He was shown no mercy as he was handcuffed, thrown in jail, and left until his trial date. The judge was unmerciful, scowling and banging his gavel. The jury took no time to find him guilty, and the judge sentenced him to the most severe penalty allowed by law. After the sentencing, the judge motioned the guilty party close to his bench, out of earshot of the rest of the courtroom. He whispered in the convict’s ear, “By the way, I’ve always wondered what a California Condor tastes like”. The convict whispered back, “Well, Your Honor, it’s sort of a cross between a spotted owl and a baby seal”.
Iffin’ the result of conception is simply a “fetus”, then let’s identify each as a “spotted owl fetus” and claim them as protected.
Yep, the most important part of SSS is “Shut up.”
I have no problem with that. I don't know where this notion of stasis in nature came from, but it is complete fallacy and unsupported by any facts. Millions of species have gone extinct, millions more will. There is nothing a granola-eating sandal-wearing hippie can do to stop that. Sure, mankind may even cause some of that or speed that on its way. That is perfectly natural too. I am sure many species' demise was caused/aided by other species.
As for SSS, I've seen it done. I think. Now, I can't prove anything but... A local rancher had a problem with prairie dogs. Their holes are a danger to cattle - breaking legs etc. Turns out they were some special sub-species and he couldn't get rid of them. But then, a few months later turns up the prairie dog colony has plague and has to be wiped out. I suspect rancher or one of his hands went down to AZ/NM and trapped a few rabbits or other small game that are known to carry fleas and plague. Then bring them back up, release them near the colony... Never prove anything - as long as they paid for gas and their campground with cash. ;-)
Shoot, cook, eat.................(burp).............
from Simpson’ episode “The Frying Game”:
The Simpson’s have discovered they have a Screamapillar in their back yard, and an EPA official has told them they cannot harm it and must, in fact, protect it from harm, because it is an endangered species...
Lisa (reading from EPA pamphlet): “The Screamapillar is easily identified by its constant screaming — it even screams in its sleep. The Screamapillar is the favorite food of everything, is sexually attracted to fire, and needs constant reassurance or it will die”.
Homer: “You sure God doesn’t want it to die?”
I would add: Keep a low profile.
Since the 80’s I have advised sellers or buyers of vacant land to first do an accurate assessment of any possible wetlands and what may be living there. Is there a mud puddle after a rain, caused by a clay layer beneath the surface (a perched water table)? Remove any wetland vegetation. Punch a lot of holes through the clay, add gravel to promote drainage, top off with topsoil and plant upland vegetation. If you don’t, you’ve got a wetland that renders part or all of your property off limits to development.
Any critters living there? Get rid of them if there’s any chance they could be considered “endangered”. Trap ‘em and move ‘em if you can; do what you have to if you can’t. If your property is declared habitat its value drops to zero.
Years ago beavers has constructed a dam. When it rained the nearby road flooded forcing people to use an alternate route that added about 15 miles to their drive.
The game commission was going to relocate the beavers when a distant wildlife protection organization caught wind of it. They filed a lawsuit which would probably take years to resolve. In the meantime everybody had to drive all that extra distance every time it rained.
One weekend the right folks went to a different rally somewhere, leaving the beavers alone.
On Sunday morning as the sun rose all the beavers were neatly lined up along the road - shot during the night or trapped. The beaver dam had been destroyed somehow - it was believed someone came in with a backhoe during the night. A search found nobody who saw anything.
The road never flooded again. Eventually the lawsuit was heard and the beavers were deemed protected animals and allowed to stay - except there were none living to enjoy their home.
End of story...
Half Jest ???
Colorado’s most favorite and hated ‘endangered’: Woody Woodpecker.
we need it to be eliminated....
I will take it and drop it on the property of the biggest liberal I can find.