BUMP for New Monthly Donor #32
| Free Republic 2nd Qtr 2024 Fundraising Target: $81,000 | Receipts & Pledges to-date: $22,936 | |||
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| Woo hoo!! And we're now over 28%!! Thank you all very much!! God bless. | ||||
Posted on 02/09/2014 12:24:16 PM PST by onyx
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. This was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary.
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni.
What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned,however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
Awesome!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,... right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in the other. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries, thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master." Reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.... I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER OF WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs.
The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"
Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution:
There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself.
You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.
A three second burst would be considered conservative.
SON-OF-A-BTCH....
That hurt like hell!!!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point),I collected my wits, (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
How did they up get there???
My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles! I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.
Still in shock,
Tommy
Jeepers ...
But we hear tell that long ago, when LAZ signed-up,
a Cow Jumped Over the Moon!!!
| Free Republic 1st Quarter Fundraising Target: $85,000 | Receipts & Pledges to-date: $41,717 | |||
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| Woo hoo!! And we're now over 49% looking for 50!! Thank you all very much!!  We can do this. |
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From my friend, Arrowhead1952:
I had not heard of this, so I’m hoping that it is new to you as well.
A snowstorm in the South is about as rare as a glass of unsweetened tea at a church supper. Folks around Birmingham , Ala. weren’t all that
worried though. The storm was only supposed to dust the city – not even enough powder for a Southern snowman.
So when the first snowflakes began to fall, no one paid all that much attention. But then, the flakes kept falling. Before too long folks in places
like Hoover and Inverness realized it was much more than a dusting. By that point, it was too late for anyone to do anything.
Icy interstates and highways soon became clogged with cars and trucks. Thousands of motorists soon found themselves stranded with nowhere
to go – including many stuck on Highway 280.
Chick-fil-A had a captive crowd of hungry customers. So why did they give away their food?
But a good number of those stranded motorists were able to find shelter in the storm thanks to the kindness and generosity of Chick-fil-A
restaurant employees and the restaurant’s owner, Mark Meadows.
Once the snow started accumulating, Meadows closed the restaurant and sent his staff home. But a few hours later, many of them returned –
unable to get to their homes.
“Our store is about a mile and a half from the interstate and it took me two hours to get there,” manager Audrey Pitt told me. “It was a parking
lot as far as I could see.”
So Audrey left her car on the side of the interstate and joined a flock of bundled up drivers trudging through the snow.
“At one point there were more people walking than driving,” she said.
Some of the drivers had been stuck in their cars for nearly seven hours without any food or water. So the staff of the Chick-fil-A decided to
lend a helping hand.
“We cooked several hundred sandwiches and stood out on both sides of 280 and handed out the sandwiches to anyone we could get to – as long
as we had food to give out.”
The staffers braved the falling snow and ice, slipping and sliding, as they offered hot juicy chicken breasts tucked between two buttered buns.
And Chick-fil-A refused to take a single penny for their sandwiches.
The meal was a gift – no strings attached. For the frozen drivers, it was manna from heaven.
“They were very excited and extremely thankful,” she said. “People were thankful to get something to put in their stomachs.”
Audrey said they were especially surprised that the sandwiches were free. Why not make some extra money during the storm? It’s not like
anyone could go to another restaurant. Chick-fil-A had a captive crowd of hungry customers. So why did they give away their food?
“This company is based on taking care of people and loving people before you’re worried about money or profit,” Audrey told me. “We were
just trying to follow the model that we’ve all worked under for so long and the model that we’ve come to love. There was really nothing else
we could have done but try to help people any way we could.”
Lauren Dango was one of those stranded motorists. She’s known Meadows for years and she was stunned when she saw him walking from car
to car with Chick-fil-A sandwiches.
“I looked up and I’m like, what is he doing,” Dango told me. “He had a catering order and it got canceled, so he pulled over and started giving
away food.”
And if that wasn’t enough, Meadows helped a driver maneuver along the icy road by pushing a car up an incline.
Dango was so touched by Meadows’ kindness, she sent a letter to Chick-fil-A’s corporate headquarters. “Kudos to Mark Meadows for not only
preaching the “second mile” concept, but actually living by it,” she wrote.
It’s no secret that Chick-fil-A was founded by a Christian family. And it’s no secret that they run their business on biblical values. What
happened in Birmingham is an example of how those biblical values are played out.
“We just wanted to be able to help,” Audrey said. “Yesterday was such a hopeless situation. We wanted to do something to make people feel a
little bit better. We were here. We had food and there were people outside who needed food. So it just made sense to do something for them.”
But Chick-fil-A’s generosity didn’t stop there. “We opened up our dining room to anyone who wanted to sleep on a bench or a booth,” Audrey
told me.
And this morning, the weary staff members fired up their ovens and began preparing chicken biscuits. The only thing that is closed – is Chick-
fil-A’s cash register.
“We’re not open for business,” she said. ‘We’re just feeding people who are hungry.”
I’d say the Chick-fil-A team blessed a lot of people in Birmingham – but that’s not how Audrey sees it. “It’s a blessing to us to be able to help
people,” she said. “It really is.”
“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat,” Jesus said in the Gospel of Matthew. “I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink,
I was a stranger and you invited me in.”
It was a Sunday school lesson illustrated on a snowy winter day along Highway 280 in Alabama with a chicken sandwich and a side of waffle
fries.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/search?m=all;o=time;q=quick;s=Chick-fil-A
Thank you very much for sharing that very inspiring event.
Thanks go to Arrowhead1952. Without his emailing me that story, I would never have known
about it. I didn’t even see it on Fox News, but perhaps they buried it so deep I didn’t notice it.
“Cute” may not be the right word. Or at least not puppy and kitten cute. lol
Buuuump!
Here’s another buuuump for the next New Monthly Donor!
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