1. When people ask if the insurance is good, reply:
"Trust me honey - you won't get pregnant ..."
2. When people ask why their premiums, deductibles, co-pays, and out-of-pockets went up, breakout with the old Beaver High School football cheer:
"Nutz n' boltz, nutz n' boltz - YOU got screwed ..."
3. When people ask why they can't see their own doctor or go to their regular hospital, reply:
"Turn around, drop trou, bend over, grab ankles - Obama's drivin' ..."
4. And lastly, when terminating the call, don't forget to say:
"Have a nice day ..."