Posted on 09/20/2013 10:44:55 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
SALT LAKE CITY — First off, I am not talking about those silly wild haired dolls with jewels in their belly buttons. I am also not speaking about the ones that live under bridges and eat small children. I am speaking about the spineless bottom feeders who sit at their computer all day bullying other people with inflammatory comments and remarks.
A troll's sole purpose in life is to comment about an article, statement, question in a forum or other Internet venue so that comment will upset the target person or persons to the point where they are yelling at their computer and punching the monitor. The upset person will even go so far as to Google search the user name “wizardslayer7” to see if somehow there is an address associated with it.
A troll thrives on a back and forth argument where one ultimately challenges the other to a fist fight or threatens to find out where the other person lives so they can settle this in person. These arguments tend to be typed in all caps lock. There are professional troll organizations where this becomes a quasi profession. Lame, I know.
Here are some definitions I found on trolling:
Dictionary.com:
1. Informal
Submit a deliberately provocative posting to an online message board with the aim of inciting an angry response.
"If people are obviously trolling, then I'll delete your posts and do my best to ban you."
Urban Dictionary.com:
2. Being hurtful on the Internet because you can. Typically unleashing one or more cynical or sarcastic remarks on an innocent bystander because it's the Internet and, hey, you can.
Guy: "I just found the coolest ninja pencil in existence." Other Guy: "I just found the most retarded thread in existence."
3. The art of deliberately, cleverly and secretly angering people, usually via the Internet, using dialogue. Trolling does not mean just making rude remarks: Shouting swear words at someone doesn't count as trolling; it's just flaming, and isn't funny. Spam isn't trolling either; it enrages people, but it's lame.
The most essential part of trolling is convincing your victim that either a) you truly believe in what you are saying, no matter how outrageous, or b) give your victim malicious instructions under the guise of help.
Trolling requires deceiving; any trolling that doesn't involve deceiving someone isn't trolling at all; it's just stupid. As such, your victim must not know that you are trolling; if he does, you are an unsuccessful troll.
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This last definition shows you that these people actually take themselves seriously. Some actually think they are providing a source of entertainment. Unfortunately the people who do find this funny are trolls themselves. I can just imagine two pasty skinned trolls, one hand in a bag of Funyun's, spraying crumbs on their overly used keyboard as they laugh at each other's wit.
You could be thinking that I have been the victim of trolling so I am just ranting about this. I wouldn't know as I rarely if ever read the comments posted from my articles. I do read all my emails however. I have read the comments from various articles and it's always the same, some person will make an uneducated statement about a subject they know nothing about and then the arguments fly. The person who started the argument is usually a troll.
So why should trolls go to jail? They are causing or inciting a riot plain and simple. The sole purpose is to upset as many people as possible through malicious or deceptive statements. They then sit back and watch the carnage. There is no benefit to anyone except themselves. The victims of these trolls are upset the rest of the day. They are driving aggressively on the roads, yelling at their co-workers and being consumed with a way to find out who that person on the Internet was.
This is not good for public safety. This is why I think the only way to combat this is to change the way we run comment boards and forums. Anyone who wants to comment or post anything needs to do this with their official email address registered by the government. This will be verified in person at your local driver's license division. No more anonymity on the Internet. Every time you post anything, your picture and name will pop up.
You trolls can still keep your precious usernames like halochamp34 and doritoskiller709, but it will be tied to your official email, the one and only email you can have. No more fictional emails and no more hiding behind the Internet. If you want to make public comments and be in the public domain of the Internet, then you should be brave enough to show your actual face.
This would also take care of many other problems on the Internet, like fraud and phishing scams or having an online relationship with a fictional person (sorry Manti Te'o). You may not see the brave statements about how you are a third-degree black belt and 6'4” 230. Which is apparently the standard height, weight and skill of every person on call of duty.
How refreshing it would be to see who actually posted those racially charged comments. It would be interesting to see if they posted at all. Do you think those same people are making those same remarks in person? I don't think they are. It would take awhile for them to adjust to sunlight, or being around people. I bet it would be nice for their parents to have access to their basements again. They could finally put in that game room they always wanted.
You may be reading this, flabbergasted by my own hypocrisy. I am aware that I am writing these articles through the safety of anonymity. But if you guys are willing to come forward, then so am I. Let's break down the barriers of the Internet and come forward showing our true selves with no judgment. I can't wait to see the national email registry!
*****
This article is for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice. I do not represent any specific agency or government. Please send questions to askacop@ksl.com
No. It’s a boring article. Lame, in fact.
So much irony, I might actually need a phlebotomy.
LOL
They hang out under bridges. Keep aware of them and what they attempt, and you can survive.
Of course a handy staff and (sorry, Harry) Gibb's Rule Number Nine couldn't hurt either. *grin*
With some yogurt now and then of course... (hat tip Michael Weston).
That's what **trolls** do.
I have had one troll claim that my name, the names of my husband and children, and our addresses are known and subtley suggested that it will be shared with other trolls. Another troll posted information about one of my children that I **know** that I have never posted anywhere on the Internet.
Scary!
My strategy for dealing with trolls:
If they post to me I politely request that they not send posts since I will not be responding to any of their comments. If they post to me again, I tell them that I and others may consider this to be stalking and bullying. Marxists hate to be accused of bullying and stalking. These are the liberal mortal sins in fashion this year. This seems to be working since most that have been stalking me from thread to thread have disappeared.
Pound sand.
I’d say that to you in person.
There isn’t anything I say here I won’t say in person.
Not me.
Back a couple of years ago I teased a loose cannon here and he started posting sly threats to me.
He was going to track me down and find out who I am and that I better sleep with one eye open and have eyes in the back of my head. He even claimed he found SOL as a name in online data-bases that had my REAL name and address in them. Its not SOL, LOL
And this kept going over many comments
MANY HERE would have hit abuse or asked them not to ping anymore.
Not me. I had the time of my life, tears running down my face laughing while replying.
2DivVet and others will testify that I am not your average troll...LOL
With rent around these parts, no one gets to live in my head rent-free.
I wonder how many of Duh-1's "created jobs" would evaporate if all the little OWS-ers and ACORNS out there no longer got paid to disrupt Conservative discourse.
That is why I LOL
Bad idea, obviously. But I can think of a variant that would be useful.
Private entity version would allow you to certify a username and tie it to your real name and picture. This would allow people the choice of going online as themselves or anonymously.
Those who choose anonymous mode would presumably have their credibility reduced accordingly, which I think is entirely appropriate.
Someone should make bacon out of that Nazi pig.
Really, he wrote this anonymously? A joke? Brilliant if so.
I noticed a lot of news articles are using facebook for comments now, most people use their real name for that. I have no intention of ever getting one.
You tube also frequently asks me if I want to change my account to my real name, annoying.
Notice how the guys from Adam-12 and Dragnet are morphing into Major Hochstetter?
Pistols at ten paces.
Here’s irony for you (humor): http://www.jim-butcher.com/books/dresden/side-jobs/restoration
I got accounts on all of them google, youtube, yahoo, everyone I use a made up name.
Youtube asks me if I want my made up google name displayed and I always say NO.
Its the internet, internet is like town Deadwood.
Perhaps the Shrieking Abboteers would agree with this trolling policy. They have already disclosed confidential information of a non-Abbott supporter and called for him to be banned at Free Republic, just because he pointed out that Texas AG Greg Abbott attended Gov. Chris Christie’s birthday party. At least Pauken supporters have good manners and refuse to resort to such PRISM-like behavior when attacking their critics.
Yep, I could cite user names too HAHA
It goes like :
”You must have just come from DU because your comments are so stupid. So let me give you some friendly Helpful advice so.... (wink wink you don't get replies like this from jerks like me anymore)“
See??? They are just trying to be helpful.
My reply?
“ Friendly Helpful Advice?? What are you Dear ... Abby??”
Then there's the unfriendly freepmails LOL
I’m pretty sure anonymous cops already are illegal.
Yup. If it were any louder I’d be deaf.
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