[Resolute Conservative]

There are loads of children in this country that need parents, why people go outside has always confused me. The cultural divide alone is a surmountable obstacle.

[silverleaf]

try adopting “inside” and see if you like the rules regs restrictions and requirements

like having include in your life and your child's life dysfunctional birth families who may lay claims on the kids

“Open adoption” or foster to adopt is simply not the way for everyone

furthermore by the time a US kid is severed from their parents the kid has been through terrible awful neglect abuse and worse- read the bios of foster kids

they suffer more than some international adoptions where some (tho not all) kids are actually raised in institutions or foster homes with more attention and care

please just let people make their own decisions about who to adopt and why

a kid who needs a family is a kid who needs a family- not an import

[papertyger]

There are loads of children in this country that need parents, why people go outside has always confused me. The cultural divide alone is a surmountable obstacle.

People go outside the US because all domestic adoptions are "open" by default. Further, there's no such thing as a binding contract with a woman in America, where children are involved. There's nothing you can do to insulate your adoptive children that a judge can't overturn.

As for cultural obstacles...there are none when you get them young enough.

[Mrs. Don-o]

My husband and I adopted a 5-year-old from Russia 16 years ago. Why didn't we adopt in the USA?

• Most US agencies disqualified us right off the bat because we were 40 and 41 years old.
• Those that didn't, had fees that were unbelievably exorbitant (i.e. cost more than our house)
• To adopt a child in TN who is a ward of the court, you have to
  • Participate in the foster program for a year before adopting (meaning you get kids in and out of your house as their parents resolve psychiatric issues or go in and out of jail or rehab, as the kids go in and out of juvenile offender custody, etc.), and
  • After this, you have the option to adopt a child "for keeps" out of the foster system, meaning the kid has already been bounced around a lot before they got to you, usually resulting in psychiatric, emotional and behavioral problems.

We tried a private adoption of an infant by connecting with an unwed pregnant grad student: for 6 or 7 months the relationship with her seemed to go well until she decided, literally in her last week of pregnancy, to drop us and choose other adoptive parents via an agency.

All in all, we spent several futile years trying to adopt in the USA.

When a friend of mine, an experienced adoptive mother herself, started her own "on a shoelace" nonprofit to help other adopting from Russia, we saw it as a stroke of Divine Providence.

The system in the USA is thoroughly biased against mature couples with modest means.

And now, our local newspaper just ran the dearest article about two lovely young homosexual guys who have got their nursery all stocked with teddy bears and sweet little onesies emblazoned with "I love both my dads." Waiting for "their" baby from an agency that specializes in "family diversity and nontraditional adoptions." All Families Are Equal. Love=Love.

So I have to add that the US system is increasingly biased against normal married moms & dads.