It's certainly more effective, in my opinion. My kids will just brush off a spanking, but if Daddy has to start yelling to get through to them, they listen.
Now, mind you, I don’t yell derogatory things like “lazy”, “stupid”, “worthless”, etc. It’s about the specific thing they’re doing wrong, and why it’s gotten to the point where they have to be yelled at for it.
In fact, I try to reinforce that I think they’re smart enough and grown-up enough to not engage in the bad behavior - and that’s why I’m disappointed and angry.
Spanking is good. Works on babies. Once they start talking, you can give that up.
Mr. Spock is a simple “actions have consequences” attitude, and I share, emotionless, what those consequences will be. But it is important to, when possible, share the potential consequences BEFORE they do the offending act.
I used the “disappointed” mode when the relationship warrants it. If they don’t care that they’ve disappointed dad, it’s worthless.
On adults I learned a new one during my divorce in the late 1990’s. I had to use it on my mother when she really screwed things up in the vein of “trying to help”. I just say, “I’m not angry with you. I just see you differently.”.
In her case, it meant I saw her as a person that I could not trust with information. And she noticed I stopped sharing any info with her. I told her why. It has lingered to this day. You see, I really DO see her differently.