That's the standard story.
You know what it's based on, don't you?
It's based on the sexual revolution theory that sex is always good, that it is never negative or evil.
So of course rape and child molestation, which almost everyone will agree is evil, can't really be sex, can they? So people repeat the mantra without ever really thinking about it.
Why must sex always be a good thing? Any other human emotion or drive can be turned to evil, why not sex?
What you are doing here is defining "sex" as always being kind, loving and consensual. Anything else isn't "really" sex, it's something else. Why can't the sex drive be evil, hating, exploitive or demonic?
Because the sex drive is intrinsic. That it exists is not a quality cultivated of character, but how it is regarded and managed is.
“It’s based on the sexual revolution theory that sex is always good, that it is never negative or evil.”
Not quite, close but not quite. The theory was originally brought forth by Susan Brownmiller, who claimed that rape was an organized terrorist tactic perpetuated against women whereby all men benefit. Her basic hypothesis was that all sex is not really about sex, but is really about dominating and humiliating women.
Academics and feminists on the left quietly ignored most of her central thesis, but latched on to the “rape is not about sex, it’s about power” business because that’s a pretty little Marxists lie that appeals to classism and sexism obsessed liberals, and because it’s a pretty little lie that makes the world seem a little safer and less threatening.
A quick read trough some trial depositions or police reports would immediately drive a stake through the heart of that crackpot theory, but the type of childish ninnies likely to latch on to it in the first place aren’t the types to either test their beliefs or modify them in the face of overwhelming reality.