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One sad reason the lunk-headed federal government gets involved in these things is people on the Right who don't like what others are doing try to use the federal government to force what they think on others.

This is true, and likely one of the reasons people call the GOP and conservatives the party of stupid: for it is a truly stupid person who never considers how might the law I am proposing be used against me?.

And as we all know that sword cuts both ways and eventually cuts all of us out of our God-given liberties.

Bravo! — That is the realization that is missing.

Individual and states' rights and freedoms are the cornerstone of the freest constitutional republic the world has ever seen. Hard to keep it (as Benjamin Franklin once implied) because freedom doesn't always go our way, but in the long run, a free society is the healthiest and happiest on earth. (Besides, we can always move to another state [like we are right now] that lines up closer to our values.)

Precisely! (Good luck on the move, BTW.) Much of the problem we have now is because most people believe that the FedGov is [utterly] superior to the States, just read this article; it frames things as a First Amendment issue — it is not, the First is binding on only Congress (if you claim that the 14th Amendment incorporation causes it to apply against States, then you are asserting that it is a process which magically changes the text as it passes through) — the correct framing would be in Article II, Section 11 of the New Mexico Constitution:

Every man shall be free to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience, and no person shall ever be molested or denied any civil or political right or privilege on account of his religious opinion or mode of religious worship. No person shall be required to attend any place of worship or support any religious sect or denomination; nor shall any preference be given by law to any religious denomination or mode of worship.

The REAL solution is the one that nobody ever hears about, of course... and it has NOTHING to do with sexual orientation, religious sacraments, Equal Protection, or Freedom of Religion. If government stopped treating MARRIED people differently from SINGLE people, this issue goes away in an instant! But our Beloved Overlords will never consider dropping one iota of societal control... ever... and so the media dances with glee about the ability to preside over a Constitutional argument where both sides have a legitimate claim. (And they relish opening the debate with a lie, that "gay marriage" should be legalized, even though NOTHING about making a lifetime commitment to someone of the same gender is currently illegal.)

The ONLY differences between married and single Americans are minor tax variations, a handful of probate rules, insurance regulations, and DNR decisions. Allow Americans the FREEDOM to choose who to put on their insurance, and allow insurers the FREEDOM to charge rates as appropriate by actuarial tables... tax us ALL the same, whether single or wedded... allow changes to DNR and probate defaults so that a lifetime loving partner can be chosen over a disapproving parent who hasn't talked to their child in decades... and the debate ENDS IN A DAY! But again, our government will never allow for more Freedom and slightly less control for themselves... so here we are.