These days, you do. Rush always says that good satire requires an element of truth. Yours contains the entire Periodic Table.
Do I really have to say that this is satire?
Yes, because it is so close to the truth. On the other hand you did a MASTERFUL job of writing it. Thank you.
How about this... If they ask you if you have a gun, tell them you do but you go to a urologist for problems with that.
Funny and sad at the same time. What has become of our great country?
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There comes a time when skills must be developed to become a competent liar. This time has come when enemies, both foreign and domestic will use our confessions to destroy our freedom. Just say no.
As a LIVE, LIVING MAN, I reserve all unalienable rights without prejudice
my doc is a gun guy...we have plans of hitting the range this spring.
he is thinking of early retirement thanks to the new laws.
I have another take on it:
The year is 2035 and ObamaCare has been the law of the land for 20 years.
The character in the story has a cut on his leg. He calls the hospital for an appointment; a computerized voice replies that "The..next...available...time...is...Thursday...the...28th". The character is a bit concerned as it's Friday the 22nd, but no matter, he takes what he's given. Others have had it worse.
He limps into the hospital the next Thursday. No one greets him. There's a "ticket dispenser" and a sign on the wall tracks the numbers. "Now Serving #41". As the character's number is #87, he thinks "Not too bad, I'll get out of here today." He sits in an uncomfortable waiting room chair, and peruses (ironically) an old, dogeared copy of "American Rifleman".
#87 eventually comes and the character shows himself to a spartan, marginally clean, treatment area. The Practitioner (no docs, those are only for "political" cases) doesn't ask him any questions, because he doesn't speak English. The character points at the cut on his leg (now turning some interesting colors, and exuding a foul smell). Practitioner gives him a tube of unlabeled ointment, and a handful of bandaids (a couple of which had previously been opened, but clumsily resealed). The character hoped that those hadn't been used already, and mentally made a note to save them for last.
As the character exited the hospital and gingerly walked to the bus stop for a two hour ride back to his apartment, he smiled. All that treatment, and he hadn't needed to pay a penny for it. Truly, Obamacare worked.
The last time I saw my doctor he was at a new office, so I had to fill out all of the forms again. These gun questions, and other inappropriate things, were on the form. I wrote “MYOB” on every one.
When someone inquires about my guns my response is “I’d tell you, but that would spoil the surprise.”
Masterpiece of writing! It deserves submission to some online mags. Seriously good job...
For later ping!
My pre-physical interverer asked me if I wore a helmet when riding my bicycle and if I wore seat belts.
I politely told her it was none of their business.
I have told my physician that I do a lot of shooting and would like my blood lead level checked.
The feds have to get a kick out of the “Go to hell” and “Mind your own damn business” type of answers.
That puts the patient in Category 3, which is psychotic gun owner, the worst category.
By the way, Cat 1 is someone that simply says “no”, Cat 2 is someone who says “yes”, but they’re safely stored away with trigger locks.
Nice Job
Thanks for the article, but I have read other wonderful books that were written as fictional works and as of late have been shown to be more fact than fiction. The exchange is entertaining yet sadly it might be the shape of things to come.
While this is satire, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) most definitely wants doctors to ask questions about gun ownership, not for Obamacare reasons directly, but for “ethical” reasons, though that is an obvious oxymoron.
That is, the AAP says that pediatricians have an “ethical responsibility” to ask about guns, and refusal to answer could be grounds to refuse treatment.
Since it is a vile question unrelated to medical care, conversely, patients have NO “ethical responsibility” to respond to it truthfully. Instead, say that you used to have guns and ammo, but you lost it all in a fishing accident.
And there’s not a damned thing he can do about it.
The quotes from the Affordable Care Act are serious and true. Medical personnel shouldn’t be asking, and patients don’t need to answer.
Now, to cut through the BS here, favored constituents and politicians in both political parties during the years of the Clinton Administration required doctors to ask those questions along with questions about whether or not women patients are abused in any way by their husbands or boyfriends.
So, contrary to bipartisan exclamations in political speech, Hillary’s not so great and wouldn’t make a great president. Neither would any other woman who supports more funding for public schools while riding on Hillary’s politics.
Feminist, medical and police organizations comprise most of the support for gun control and against our Second Amendment. Truly “low-information” voters are voters who don’t want to know that, for example, and continue to support fascist social aberrations for the sake of their government incomes and incomes derived from government.