British car fans rejoice.
British car fans rejoice.
Now, that’s funny!
(I’ve had a few Healey’s and Jag’s)
The REAL meaning of the Haynes instructions
Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don’t you?
Haynes: Should remove easily.
Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with a hammer.
Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That’ll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.
Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...
Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (industrial size).
Haynes: Ease ...
Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ...
Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: “Crikey what was that, it nearly had my eye out”!
Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that’s the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards.
Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered “lightly”.
The 100k miles I put on an MG Midget taught me that!