I hereby put forward my claim as the rightful heir to the throne of Dutchland or whatever it’s called. As proof, I submit this photo of my rear end. You can clearly see the well-known birthmark that is found on the behinds of all the Dutch royalty. Yes, I know it looks like Mickey Mouse, but, trust me, it’s the royal birthmark. My first act as Emperor of NetherDutch, or whatever it’s called, will be to free the surfs. Why they imprisoned waves, I’ll never know. Then, we start the parties. I don’t see any really good governments out there, so we might as well spend the money on a bender. I’ll bet we could get Donny Osmond to come and sing. Maybe he’d bring along Marie. I could give her France or something so she’d be one of those, what do they call them?......concucombines.....you know......fun girl.
Free the SMURFS!............oh, wait........