Before I returned to Christianity (well, I strayed pretty badly but it didn’t ever really leave me), I was friendly with a lesbian couple. They wanted to have children and asked me as a friend to be their donor.
Where I was mentally and morally at the time, that was sort of flattering, stange as it sounds to me today. I hadn’t fathered any children and the thought was sort of nice. I’d be involved as much or as little as I wanted to be, they said, but they wanted a contract regarding custody and parental rights, the child would be legally theirs.
There were niggling pangs of conscience that continued to grow, but what really put the while notion on the wrong foot was the contract. It brought to mind the legal difficulties so many friends of mine had had over the years, due to divorce, custody and child support. So, I got a copy of their proposed contract and made an appointment with an attorney.
The first words out of his mouth were, don’t do it. All moral considerations aside, you’re going to be on the hook just as surely as any other paternity case, ultimately. The contract wasn’t worth the paper it was written upon in a court of law dealing with the welfare of the child, such couples are rarely of any duration and the custodial lesbian “partner” WILL be coming after you. The court will favor the child’s benefit, no question, no consideration of any other agreements.
So, I didn’t do it. In hindsight, I’d have been wracked by guilt, being responsible for bringing a child into such an environment. I do still wonder about what might have been, though. It’s a very strange situation.
"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry."