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To: Luircin

Luircin I really hope you hang in there. While most of us on this board are decades older, we have all been through it. Probably not to the extent that your generation is facing, but I do have some experience with this. It is crucial that you stay positive. I can’t stress that enough. If you get down too far you can easily lose a decade of your life. So first admit you are in the sh!t, and you’ll probably be there for a few more years. That’s ok. Keep a healthy perspective. You’re broke and living with family, you’re not being held in the Hanoi Hilton for years. What I’m saying is a lot of good men have been through much worse and came out of it. So focus on positive thoughts and don’t let your self esteem get down.

So much of male identity is tied to work it can be really degrading to be unemployed. Don’t fall into the misery trap. If you are unemployed, it really can be the perfect time to reassess and redirect your life. Make a plan. Find any legitimate way to increase your income. Even if only in small increments each week. Take any part time job you can. So what if you are just a part time cook at a little restaurant? You are getting out of the house, making some cash, and learning something. It is crucial for your self esteem that you do something. Or try to make your own little jobs. Back in the day we didn’t have the internet to supplement our income, you do. Use it!

While trying to bring in more money the other key is reduce spending. Now is a great time to eliminate costly bad habits, silly spending. Student loans can be deferred during this crisis. They usually will work with you. And don’t beat yourself up too much about it. You are not mooching, you are trying to get your financial house in order. Start keeping a financial record. Of everything. Trust me, it’s pretty easy when your broke, and it’ll help you not be broke in the future.

During periods of joblessness some guys let appearances go, don’t fall into this trap. Get up early, get in shape, set yourself a six month goal for something you can really do: lose weight, quit smoking, run a marathon, something tangible you can accomplish with this um, down time.

Stay away from negative people. It’s better to have one true friend than a dozen fools. While living at home sucks, make it positive. Do projects around the house, cook, clean, make sure you feel like you contribute.

Take this time in your life to pick up new and useful skills. They might end up as a job, or as something useful down the road.

Be a part of a church, civic group, something that gets you out of the house doing something other than worrying.

I’m not saying it will all get better overnight, in fact I think we are in for a long miserable decade. If we are lucky. But I also think that you’re only 26 and having a rough time. So use this time to make yourself into the man you want to be at 36. It is a long, difficult haul, but it also life.


104 posted on 12/14/2012 9:40:21 AM PST by Will_Zurmacht
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To: Will_Zurmacht

Your post #104 is excellent, excellent advice. Bravo!


122 posted on 12/16/2012 7:56:27 AM PST by SW6906 (6 things you can't have too much of: sex, money, firewood, horsepower, guns and ammunition.)
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