I see no reason to embrace unhealthy, unnatural desires. Any guest in my home who wishes to celebrate perversion will have a very short visit.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I just want to take a few minutes before this thanksgiving
dinner to tell you that I’ve decided to come out about
my sexuality, you see, I love turkeys and I had sex
with this one while you all were in the den watching the
parade. Now let’s eat.