A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."
Have you heard that entropy isn't what it used to be?
Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.
Q: What is the simplest way to observe the optical Doppler effect?
A: Go out at and look at cars. The lights of the ones approaching you are white, while the lights of the ones moving away from you are red.
There was an old lady called Wright
who could travel much faster than light.
She departed one day
in a relative way
and returned on the previous night.
From physicists to physicians:
Five surgeons are discussing who has the best patients to operate on:
The first surgeon says, ‘I like to see accountants on my operating Table Because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.’
The second responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color-coded.’
The third surgeon says, ‘No, I really think librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.’
The fourth surgeon chimes in, ‘You know I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the End, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.’
But the fifth surgeon shuts them all up when he observed, ‘You’re all Wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, and there are only two moving parts - the mouth and the asshole - and they’re interchangeable
(Sorry, couldn’t resist, LOL.)
Thanks for the chuckles!