"NEXT!"
...made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve."
I doubt the listening continued much beyond "God" here.
Well done, judge ~ you would have hated that job anyway...
THANK YOU for the Friday Chuckle...
The Democrats’ last hope in Alabama is ... Harry Lyon
Published: Friday, March 16, 2012, 6:33 AM Updated: Friday, March 16, 2012, 9:14 AM
John Archibald — The Birmingham News By John Archibald — The Birmingham News
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harrylyon.jpgHarry Lyon, when he ran for governor in 2006.
Harry Lyon is the last hope for Alabama Democrats.
He’s the last man standing between Ten Commandments Judge Roy Moore and the top spot on Alabama’s Supreme Court.
There’s a lot on the line. So who is this guy?
Maybe I should let you decide.
Lyon, you see, is a guy who has run for office at least 10 times as a Republican and a Democrat. He has never won, though he takes great offense when called a perennial candidate.
“Abraham Lincoln ran 10 or 11 times,” he said.
He is a lawyer who served in the marines and was shot twice — though neither time while in the military.
He was shot in the arm when he was 17, in what he described as an intentional hunting “accident” in South Carolina. But the most serious shooting was in 1998, when Lyon was shot with a .38 by the now-deceased Robert Lee Black.
Newspapers at the time said Lyon poured Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup on Black’s car before Black shot him in the neck, leaving him face down in chocolate goo.
Black was charged with attempted murder, but was acquitted after Black’s lawyers subpoenaed Lyon’s neighbors to testify about his character.
“The jury wasn’t out long,” one court official recalled.
Lyon, though, claims Black shot him and poured chocolate syrup on a car to make it look as if Lyon had provoked him.
“I’m a diabetic,” Lyon said. “I don’t keep chocolate syrup around.”
In 2001 Lyon was convicted in Shelby County of menacing after authorities said he pulled a gun on a neighbor and held police at bay for two hours.
Lyon was fined and handed a suspended sentence, but he still won’t accept the guilty verdict. He claims he merely made a gesture his accusers found threatening.
“Other than a traffic ticket, I have never broken a law,” he said.
I asked if there were other charges I should know about.
“I’ve never been disbarred,” he replied.
In 1984 the State Bar did find Lyons guilty of violating its code of professional responsibility, saying he failed to include a disclaimer on a newspaper ad.
Lyons scoffed at that:
“It was like jaywalking.”
There is nothing typical about Lyons.
He once ran for lieutenant governor with a bullwhip and cattle prod. He said — and this may have been a moment of clarity — that he would use them to direct the Alabama Legislature.
He planned to run for mayor of Pelham, at one point, as “Low Carb” Lyons. His platform was to drive the fat folks out of town:
“Let’s face it,” he said. “The fact is that fat people are ugly and disgusting to look at as much as is traffic congestion and wasteful spending by our city government.”
And while running for governor in 2006, he called for students in all public and private high schools to take mandatory drug tests. To be paid for by the schools.
It wasn’t long ago that he told the Montgomery Advertiser that illegal immigrants who refused to leave the country should be executed by public hanging.
“What I said was ‘hang ‘em from the rafters,’ “ he said. “It wasn’t a serious statement.”
It is hard to tell what is.
But Lyons claims he is dead serious about his current race, and insists he is “in it to win it.” And he swears, by the way, that he’s not crazy.
“I have no problem submitting to psychological testing if Roy Moore will,” he said.
Who wouldn’t like to see that?
John Archibald’s column appears Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Write him at
jarchibald@bhamnews.com.
This brings up an interesting situation....what if it had been Adam and Steve. Would the snake have brought out the apple? Would Adam have gotten along with Steve...even if he were straight and fairly conservative? Would Steve have taken to condemning Adam in front of the animals for his anti-gay behavior? Would Adam have supported Chick-Fil-A in the Garden of Eden? Would Steve have packed up and left the Garden of Eden on his own accords because lack of support?
There are a thousand questions here. Course, it would have been more interesting if this had Adam, Steve, Eve, and Wendy at the beginning...with Eve and Wendy as lesbians but both Steve and Adam as straight guys.
The old Southern Democrats have nothing in common with the party of Bolsheviks, Homosexuals, illegal aliens and Angry Black People.
Can Republicans get this guy?
How can they remove an unopposed nominee? Will they have their own liberal running against former Justice Moore? They may try the write-in approach with a “Jones” or “Smith”, something easy to spell.
Does this mean that Moore will run unapposed?I so hope he gets the job of chief justice.That would be sweet.
This reads like a piece from the Onion.
