So far this year, nine people have jumped to their deaths from the 212-foot high span (George 'Washington' Bridge) into the Hudson River, nearly twice as many as the five people who killed themselves last year, said Al Della Fave, a spokesman for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey.Gee whiz now what could be driving these people of NYC to total madness? What exactly has happened in NYC in that time span?Since 2000, suicides off the bridge have averaged about six a year, although 10 jumped to their deaths in 2004 and 13 in 2010, according to the Port Authority.
Hmmm... this is a toughie, as it can't be Obama's fault, they love him there. So what else could it be??? WAIT! Could it be because of...??? Yeah ... it could... it's very possible!
The midget dictator, Der Führer, Mikey 'ADOLPH' Bloomberg!!!
First Führer Bloomberg went after Trans Fats and no one spoke up. Then Der Führer Bloomie went after Smokers, and no one spoke up. But now, it's Big Sodas Der verrückte Führer wants to ban - and then his hand picked Food Gestapo decided (on their own I'm sure) to go after anything with sugar in it, and that was it. Now there's nobody left to speak up and the people are going insane.
So they just can't take it anymore and are opting to kill themselves by nose-diving off NYC's Bridges. Really, it's too bad they just couldn't get a gun and use a single bullet to their temple. That'd save the city a lot of search and cleanup money and alleviate the track jams on the bridges caused by the High Dive Suicides.
Bang up job you're doing Bloomie Adolph. So what's next on your 'For Their Own Good' Ban List, huh asshat.
White Bread? Butter? Whole Milk? Coffee?
'Track' should be 'Traffic' (sometimes I edit my post too much.