And, I am so sorry for the loss of yours. Do not let the Hospice-trashers cause you and yours any second thoughts.
When my husband refused food and water, I was so blessed to have people around me to explain the why and the how of how death happens.
We must respect what their bodies are telling us, and not interfere with that wisdom, even if it makes us feel heroic, good about ourselves, or whatever.
If we love them, we respect them. We give them what they want, and if they do not want, we do not force ourselves upon them.
We hold their hands, we tell them how much they have mattered to all of us, and we tell them that we will never forget them.
We tell then that it is ok to go when they think they are ready, and that we will sit with them until that time comes. We tell them again and again, how much we appreciate their lives, what they have given to all of us, and how we will love them, warts and all, forever
That is exactly how we have done this. We just wish that my in-laws lived closer than 1100 miles so my wife could spend more time helping. We were there a few weeks ago repairing house projects and clearing the blackberries that have over taken the house. All is good for the time being.
Now go to bed and get some sleep.