There is a difference between controlling pain and killing someone prematurely.
My mother in law died last summer after fighting metastatic lung cancer for over two years. Hers metastasized to her lower spine and sacrum, and she had multiple pathological fractures in her lower spine and sacrum. We kept her home and comfortable until 48 hours before she died.
Bone mets with pathological spine fractures is the textbook definition of severe intractable cancer pain, but we were able to keep her comfortable until her natural death, and without killing her prematurely.
Despite the hospice, whose only answer to pain was the pennies a dose liquid morphine and MS Contin.
We had to fight tooth and nail to get her proper pain control, and her hospice was refusing to pay for anything except morphine. We had to fight tooth and nail to get her proper hydration (i.e., an IV after she could no longer swallow, but complained of being severely thirsty.)
We’ve been there, done that. I’ve seen it, I’ve fought the system, I’ve seen the abuses.
The abuses are there. They are killing people prematurely every day by dehydration and terminal sedation.
These things are not a figment of family and friends’ imaginations, or a lack of understanding of evolving standards of end of life care.
Euthanasia is euthanasia, no matter how much verbal engineering the field may employ to protest otherwise.
And you don’t have to kill people to get adequate pain control.
I know there is a difference my good Doctor. But my position is that my life is my own and I’ll live it and die it as I decide, not some Doctor or Priest or Legislator.
If I take the decision that I don’t want any more pain then that’s between my physician, my wife, and me and no one else. I’ll deal with God when I see Him.
Dr. Kopp
I was my husband’s primary caregiver, 24/7, until he died. I cared for him for years before the last months and days. I was surprised and upset ny his death, for I thought he would go on for many more years
I had his favorite drinks (San Pelligrino “Aranciata, Schweppes “Ginger Ale, Filtered Water, “Pepsi”, etc ) all on his bedside, with straws if he wanted, and sponges if that was all he could take.
He eventually refused all of them. It was hard to get him to accept even a swab of his mouth. He didn’t complain of dehydration or thirst. He would reject the swab of his mouth, no matter what we soaked it in. I did it anyway, and kept his lips soft with Burt’s Bees.
Hospice was the most supportive to me, explaining that when someone is dying, they lose the desire to eat and drink, because their systems are shutting down, and trying to do what we think right, forcing food and drink on systems that are shutting down does more harm than good, and can prolong their agony.
If they complain of hunger or thrust, feed them, offer them their favorite beverages, but if they refuse them - who are you caring for, yourself, or them?
Please, people. Those of us who have taken care of a loved one dying of an awful disease do not need to read that we didn’t do right by those we have loved more than life itself.
Hospice, as I understand it, means meeting the needs of people with illnesses that are considered terminal. A strange statistic that isn’t usually discussed - Hospice patients often outlive their counterparts who get conventional medical treatment.
I have read that, but like everything one reads on the internet, it needs to be double-checked.
I was hoping to prolong my husband’s quality of life when he stopped eating and drinking by calling in Hospice. I also had the support of our assisted living center nurses and care-givers, totally separate from Hospice.
Nothing helped. And, I am going to go to my bed and do the usual. Cry myself to sleep, because he was to young and too healthy to have to leave me alone. He was only 72, and hated losing all of his abilities, both physical and mental
Hospice is not to be feared, and I regret the posters who paint these wonderful people in such a bad light. They are wrong, in my humble opinion.
There is a vast difference between “euthanasia” and a “natural death”. The first is criminal, the second can be kind, depending on the circumstances.
Going to bed, hoping for a dream of him.
**And you don’t have to kill people to get adequate pain control.**
AMEN!
Thank you. Well said.