Hey women got a long layover or flight delay at Clinton Intl? Now get a free government paid in-terminal abortion at the lower level of Concourse C. Just a small donation to the DNC is all that is requested at the location. Happy flyby abortions!
(Stewardess on intercom)
“Comrades: Ya’ll will note that the Flying C travel stop in the main concourse has a variety of things to do for adults as well as kids. There’s a store/gift shop with all kinds of things that you can buy for your flight, as well as food and drink.
For you illiterates there are Video Book Rentals. You can rent a video book or two at one stop, and then return them at the next one! This really cuts down the boredom.
There are new DVDs as well: `President’s Day: Pants Half Off, starring George Clooney and Juliann Moore; `UFC’s Hillary v. Fluke: The Mud Games,’ `Our Friends the Bears’ by Timothy Treadwell, `Shedding My Skin’ by James Carville and `The Itsy Bitsy Spider’ by Gov. Blago, #92850.
There are also loads of novelty gifts, rubber knives, guns and swords, t-shirts, and funny stuff, like the rattle snake in a can, the bleating calf or the California earthquake in a can, as well as the William J. Clinton Memorial Sex Novelties Store, an entire shop full of latex and hard rubber aids, toys, movies and such. 12 or older!
Y’all have fun, ya hear? And visit Li’l Rock again real soon!”