Because the lawyers have made the warning instructions 20 pages long and no one reads them.
"Do not operate this electric circular saw under water."
"Do not stand on this chainsaw while operating it."
"Do not hit your head, face, teeth, toes, fingers, or any other appendages with this hammer."
"Do not use this garden sprayer to spray gasoline onto a charcoal grill."
"Do not slam the hood of this car on your hand."
"Do not use this industrial pneumatic stapler to repair clothing you are wearing or to close wounds on your body."
"Do not let children use this nail gun to build gingerbread houses."
"Do not use this concrete saw to trim your toenails."
"This one is really important, but a lot of people never get to it. Do not operate this carbon monoxide producing oxygen depleting charcoal/propane/gas grill/heater in an enclosed area, especially it the occupants are asleep, drunk, drugged, or otherwise already rendered semi-conscious or unconscious."
"Do not clean the PTO shaft of this tractor with your clothing while it is rotating."
"Do not hold the blade of this reciprocating saw while it is moving at full speed."
Do not perform surgery with or otherwise use this bandsaw on any living body parts.
"Do not lean over this 20" metal lathe while wearing a necktie."
Do not work under this car while it is supported by four beer bottles."
"Do not drive this 60' man lift at high speed over railroad crossings while it is fully extended."
You forgot my personal favorite:
Do not operate vehicle with windshield sun shade in place.
“Do not lean over this 20” metal lathe while wearing a necktie.”
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I knew a man who retired from the Navy about fifty years ago as a Chief Machinist Mate. He was short, broad shouldered and beefy. He used to tell a story about running a lathe while wearing his CPO uniform which included a necktie. He said he wound up bracing both hands against the housing of the lathe and pulling back while turning blue in the face and just when he thought it was all over for him someone saw what was happening and killed the power. His own description of himself which he often expressed was, “I’m as thick in the head as a bull is in the ass.”
What was it that Clint fellow said? Something about needing to know your own limitations?
LOL!!
Great post!