Posted on 05/09/2011 9:17:54 AM PDT by Huntress
How to Give a Pill to a Cat
Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat’s mouth open with small wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet mignon. Hold head vertically and pour ½ pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture store on way home to order new table.
That boys and girls is why a .22-250 is the best and fastest way to teach a cat to do a back flip.
I have to agree, something else was going on which raises the question of what was he doing with the knife? For the situation to reach that point he would have had to been engaging in a protracted and I might add stupid effort to subdue an animal by putting it under duress. I incurred an inch long clawing this weekend when one of my cats panicked as I was putting him into a carrier for a vet visit. I can understand where the cat was coming from and he and I are still on good terms but then I didn’t engage in a protracted battle. Years ago I got a good bite from my dog when I attached a leash to his collar while he was acting a bit nervous. We didn’t hold it against each other in that case either.
Cats don’t belong on leashes. They get a little pissy about it.
That explains how I have three stitches! My knife injured me! I wasn’t an idiot for using it like a drill bit and stabbing myself.
How do we know the cat wasn’t using the knife?
Who else suspects that man was wrestling with larger problems than the cat?
That explains how I have three stitches! My knife injured me! I wasn’t an idiot for using it like a drill bit and stabbing myself.
How do we know the cat wasn’t using the knife?
Who else suspects that man was wrestling with larger problems than the cat?
Cat:Won
Hoomin: Nuffin
In all seriousness this article is crap. Was the man the homeowner? Was he visiting? Where are the pics? The article gives no context what so ever. I find it hard to believe a housecat just arbitrarily attacked and caused enough injury for the guy to be airlifted out.
Luckily, I had to use a syringe and she had a tooth removed, so I have to pry her mouth open through that missing tooth!
A pill? Forget it, not happening. Only way I could give her a pill is to crush it into a tiny bit of mushy food, small enough so I'd know she'd eat it all.
I suspect the only detail left out was the injured man's blood/alcohol level.
Reminds me of getting my Mary into a carrier. After a 45 minute battle, by the time I got to the vets, I was bleeding from the hands, arms and legs.
They were worried and wanted to clean me up. Funny thing is, Mary knows when the carrier is for one of the others. When it’s for her, she knows it.
I try to think of other things so she “can’t read my mind”, but somehow she always knows when it’s for her.
> Domesticated cats don’t do this sort of thing unless there was something else going on.
You’re probably right. About 15 years back, my mother had a little 7 pound female cat who got cornered on the front porch by a doberman who was not on a leash. The cat had to defend its life. It did it by killing the dog.
Had the dog gotten hold of the cat, even once, the cat would have been dead, but the cat was quicker.
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