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The difference of course is that Sparta was basically an army with a state (like latter day Prussia in the 17th century only more militaristic). Sparta for all the blather of 300 was a state that most of us could not countenance living in --

a state in which 70%+ were slaves (Helots) doing the work and indentured for generations

Where there was no family life - boys from 7 were separated from their families and all young men lived together until 30 when they could start a family. The boys were continuously trained as soldiers

homosexual relations, pederastry etc. were encouraged as a means to keep the unity of the military units

They had no inkling of culture or trade, unlike the Athenians (who had their own problems of course, but imho, not as severe).

Spartan society was one-dimensional, purely dedicated to war, a dead-end society that could not even innovate -- Philip the Great of Macedon was able to smash their phalanx with the clever use of cavalry and side-attacks.

The Roman way was simpler -- "on this side of the line (the Servian walls) is Rome. Outside that is not Rome. We got no problem with those outside, but there is friction on the border, so we'll expand a little bit, then a little bit more..."

The Roman way is exemplified in the difference between the armor and strategy of the Romans and their enemies -- the Romans had huge shields protecting their soldiers and smaller offensive weaponry. They worked as a team.