Friends of Keith? Those would be known as FOKs, all 8 of them. Maybe they could form FOKs News and read stories to other FOKers.
WTF? Over. Besides, how did this ass-klown go from being an incredibly inept sports announcer to some sort of news guru?
He must have pictures of the Big Boss with an underage shetland pony and a horny parrot. I also want to know if he's a glandular case or not. Normal people do not look like that. The Pillsbury Dough Boy, Michelin Man, maybe. Enquiring minds need to know.