Posted on 01/10/2011 6:51:58 PM PST by kristinn
Thank you.
In my limited experience, even the best, most engaged families and friends have their hands tied and there’s nothing they can do until their loved one breaks a law. Even then, you may not even see the person hospitalized, but instead court ordered to take medicine that the individual doesn’t want or even think they need to take because they they think they have a clarity that no others have and they feel damn GOOD running around batshit crazy.
I saw your posts earlier in the thread...and felt sorry for your obvious pain. I know you have tried to help.
How really awful. You see the child, perfectly normal, happy, well-adjusted...looking towards a great future. Then, this ugly thing hits and the child is really just “gone.” Still there, of course, in glimpses...but it’s no wonder that parents go into denial.
*bookmark*
Silverleaf, you clearly know better than most of us how difficult (or even impossible) it is to get treatment for someone who doesn’t want treatment. (And I am very sorry for whatever you have gone through.) There was a situation here a couple of years ago — parents were trying to take their 16 yo son in for a psychiatric evaluation. He freaked out and grabbed his younger brother, threatening to hurt him, barricading himself in the family car. Police were called, and although the kid let the younger brother go, he was uncooperative with the police and they finally shot him to death. In the car. His only weapon was a tiny blunt pocket knife.
While I agree that it really was this shooter’s parents’ duty to do what they could to prevent a tragedy like this, perhaps they were afraid of him ... or afraid of something happening like what I described ... or incapacitated by their own issues. (Sounds like they have their own set.)
In any case, it sounds to me like this incident happened as a result of mental illness, not because of any political discourse. The MSM and all the people who have pointed fingers at the TEA Party should be ashamed of themselves.
Parents should share the blame. They and the sheriff knew he was” nuts.”
Why? I am the mother of a 32year old Schizophrenic son. He is currently living on the streets of Eureka California.
There is absolutely nothing his parents could have done to force him into a facility. Unless he was a threat to himself and or others. Apparently the Sheriff department knew and if he was arrested and mental evaluated, this tragedy may not have happened Saturday.
Otherwise he is over 18. I have tried to get my son into a facility many many times. Unless he wants to go and stay there he is free to wonder the streets.
It is very frustrating to say the least. I am always afraid he will become the victim or hurt someone.
Please dont start blaming the parents right now. Lets wait and see. There is enough of fingerpointing going on right now.
You are right about denial. It took me many years to accept my son’s schizophrenia.
“We knew more about Joe the Plumber in 2 days then we’ll learn about this kid and his parents in a lifetime...
It begs the question.... why????”
That deserves repeating.
So.
Only bad parents give birth to schizophrenics and kids with other mental illnesses?
You need to read the rest of this thread, and Thank God for your happy ignorance.
To all who mailed me privately - GOD BLESS YOU ALL and provide special angels to watch over your loved ones who are suffering, and those who may harm or be harmed because of the failings of our mental health system.
I agree with you, such judgmentalism here its disgusting. These people obviously loved their child, and their child perpetrated a heinous horrible act. There is no indication that these people raised this child to become a killer, or somehow contributed to his actions.. they deserve compassion. I cannot imagine what they must be going through.
I am sure they are second guessing everything right now. I cannot imagine how I would deal with my child doing such a thing.. I don’t believe they ever would, but I am sure there are many parents out there who never believed their child would ever become a drug addict, or criminal or prostitute or any other number of things. I am not naive enough to believe that childrens actions are always a result of bad upbringing or bad parenting.
I feel nothing but sorrow for this entire situation, if anything what should be focused on in the aftermath of this would be the pitiable state of mental health policy and care in the United States IMHO. Its disgusting how this nation deals with these issues. However, that serves no political purpose, and you can’t buy enough votes with it, so we’ll just keep on blaming right wing politics or left wing politics, or guns, or whatever, and not do a damned thing that matters.
I don’t really know anything about schizophrenia, other than some reading and personal observations. I couldn’t even image how hard it would be to watch someone you love develop the condition. Lots of us have been really harsh on the parents (me included). Is there any insight you can offer?
Through the years, my husband and I have worked with a homeless ministry in west Phoenix. We have had contact with untreated schizophrenics. Sometimes the encounters are scary, some times they are sad, but neither of us has been injured or even threatened. The preconception is schizophrenics are violent and dangerous, but not necessarily so. This could be a time to learn some thing.
Post of the Year, silverleaf.
The Tucson victims faced the devil on earth in his utter indifference, his absolute zero inhumanity. This is perfectly matched by the attitude of a mental health professional responding to the pleas of a parent with a disturbed young adult.
They don’t care. They don’t help. If you beg and say, “But without intervention, he will die!” they say, “Then let him die.”
I have heard it with my own ears.
Now six people are dead, many maimed, heartbroken, lives forever damaged — that’s what it took to get an obviously demented adult committed.
It isn’t the gun laws that should be adjusted, it’s the high hurdles for involuntary commitment.
Maybe he is wealthy and does not have to work and she works because she wants to....
Or maybe he has a physical disability.
Who knows? If they are that private, I doubt that they have mailed you a copy of their tax return.
So much talk with so little actual information.
ping
That’s a mighty big hammer of guilt you are swinging at folks you don’t know anything about.
So to you the entire science of psychiatry is bogus?
Mental illness does not exist?
How could you imagine that I think that?
I am sure Mental illness is very real. The problem is that mental health professionals appear to need treatment more than any patient.
It is a wonder that anyone is ever successfully treated. If you put a hundred Psychotherapists or Psychologists in a room, you better make it a padded room! You will poll them and be given a hundred different opinions regarding the treatment of the same patient. Every egocentric Therapist (egocentric almost by default) wishing to make a name into posterity develops a new therapy and brings along new adherents..
Each one of these professionals will be compelled to approach an individual's problems from behind his own countertransference. Beyond that there are the Social Workers and other types of Counselors and Therapists of varying degrees of incompetence.
Mental Disorders and Emotional Disturbances fit in a broad spectrum bell curve right along with commonly accepted Rational Mental Health. This is so much so that there could never be anyone considered totally normal. The Mental Health professional can only hope to tweak a patient up or down the curve.
The effect is ultimate quackery! The Mental Health professional can do or say anything and will never be held accountable to anyone for anything! Stay in therapy for ten years? The Doc. says "sure, just keep paying me the big bucks!"
Having said that, some good has been done, such as John Smoltz seeing a sports psychologist in 1991, thus turning his whole career around.
I can't help but come back to the fact that poor Parenting is the cause of more emotional and psychological scars than any other cause.
“The effect is ultimate quackery!”
I personally know several people treated successfully for Bipolar mental illness, including my own sister, and my sister-in-law.
Great parents, great upbringing. Bipolar is chemical imbalance, not a result of bad upbringing.
I have seen the before and after. No quackery. Great results.
These two patients and their families would read your post, and would say you don’t know what you are talking about.
But since you admitted nobody in your family has had mental illness, my guess is you are just spouting off some misconceptions, and I won’t speculate where you acquired them.
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